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“Okay, fine. It can be about lust, then, because he’s as smoking hot as he is rich,” Joanna said enthusiastically. “When I figured out who he was, I was like…nah, maybe I’m not gonna call the cops quite yet. Maybe I’ll just give my friend a chance to land herself a big, big, fish. And from what I can see, you landed him hard. The guy is obsessed with you! Going through your underwear drawer? I mean, wowsa!”
“I can’t do this, Jo!” I protested “I can’t be with a guy like that!”
Joanna looked bewildered. “Why not? Did he do something bad to you?”
“No, no, not at all,” I said. “He was fabulous. Bossy, but fabulous.”
“Of course he’s bossy. He’s, like, American aristocracy, right? Comes with the territory. But you’ll whip him right into shape.”
“I can’t,” I said. “I have to get away from him. As quickly as possible.”
“Why? Are you, like, panicking, Kat? Come on, you’ve got this! I mean, he’s rich, he’s smart, he’s smoking hot, he’s fascinated by your underwear drawer, and he’s honest-to-God not intimidated by you, which is kind of a miracle.”
“Wow, thanks, Jo.”
“No snark allowed, at least until I finish talking,” Joanna said crisply. “Thing is, he’s not just perfect for you. You’re perfect for him, too. You’re, like, a warrior goddess with a magic sword, you know? You can smack a top-shelf guy like that around, keep him guessing, so he doesn’t get too big for his britches. I think it works, and I’m never wrong!” She paused, embarrassed. “Except about my own boyfriends, of course, but never mind those bonehead losers. I was having a hard time imagining a guy who could work for you. Now I can see it. You need someone who’s, you know. Not normal.”
I snorted. “Aww. I’m touched. Me and my special needs.”
“Stop being such a drama queen,” Joanna said impatiently. “I mean ‘not normal’ in the sense of, ‘larger than life.’ Okay?”
I took a moment, trying to breathe down the tightness in my chest. “But I can’t.”
Joanna flapped her hands in frustration. “Why the fuck not?” she yelled. “Chances like this aren’t just once in a lifetime! They’re once in a thousand lifetimes!”
“I know that!” I yelled back. “I just don’t want to get him killed!”
Joanna gaped at me. “Um…killed?” Her voice got suddenly smaller.
“Yes! Killed! Like every other person close to me. I’ve got problems, Joanna. I’ve got enemies, and they’re bad ones. You should stay away from me, too. I shouldn’t have gotten as close to you as I did. It’s sloppy, and it puts you in danger!”
Joanna’s dangling mouth closed. “Well, shitstickles,” she said stubbornly. “That sucks, but I don’t care. Danger, schmanger. Fuck your enemies. I got your back. And you know what? I bet that hot, rich, tough dude would have your back, too.”
“I can’t let you do that! Or him!” I wailed. “I can’t take it again! I can’t watch it. I can’t be responsible for it! Not again!” To my horror, I was dissolving again.Shit.
Joanna was horrified to see me start to bawl. “Oh God, Kat,” she said hastily. “I’m so sorry, babe. I didn’t know.”
“Nobody is supposed to know! But now you know, and he knows, so it’s all going to hell! I’m losing my grip. And it’s so fucking dangerous, Jo!”
“Well, I don’t actually know anything concrete about it, except that you’re upset,” Jo said briskly. “And nobody should have to do it all alone. I mean, you helped me, right? You kicked Ricky’s ass, and you rescued Ambrose. So I owe you, girl. Forever.”
“Oh, but that was just Ricky,” I said, fishing a tissue out of my pocket. “He’s not a killer. He’s just a no-account schmuck with anger issues.”
“Oh gee, excuse my piddly problems,” Joanna said, her voice ironic. “I still want to help, in my iddle-widdle-peewee sort of way, you know?”
“For real, Jo,” I persisted. “I should get the hell away from everyone. From Ethan, from you, from Danica, from the girls at the school. Even your cat.”
“What the hell, Kat? Did you rob a drug kingpin?”
“The less you know, the better. The one thing I can say for myself is that my own conscience is squeaky clean. I have never deliberately robbed or hurt anyone.” I paused, reflecting on those words. “Aside from people’s feelings, that is. And I’ve put the fear of God into some idiots like Ricky. But that’s all.”
“I never thought that you had,” Joanna assured me. “Not in a million years.”
“I swear to God, I do not deserve this shit,” I said, exhausted.
“You most certainly do not,” Joanna agreed. “You are as good as gold.”
“But it doesn’t matter if I’m good, or what I deserve,” I said. “It doesn’t matter what anyone deserves. Bad shit happens anyway. And Masters has problems of his own. He doesn’t need a fresh crew of ass-faced goblins to come down on him. Plus, he’s like a movie star, always in the news, all over social media. If I hung out with him for ten minutes, the paparazzi would start snapping photos, and we’d be dead meat.”
