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I told them all of it.
Jacob and Sebastian plied me with cold drinks and tea, the other servers left me alone, and Alastair sat with me and heard it, too. But I didn’t care.
That part of my life was officially over.
Eventually, we Ubered home, Alastair cuddling me close the whole way.
By the time we got there, I didn’t even want the bath that Alastair had promised. He gave me one of his oversized shirts to wear and insisted on seeing to my ass with the Arnica gel.
“Toby, I had no idea she was so fucked up, even after the driveway incident.”
“Can we stop talking about her, please?”
“Yes. Absolutely, except for one thing. I want you to know that you are not to blame for her problems.’
“Duh,” I said.
“Okay. And Jesus Christ, if you’d never been born, I’d—” He choked on a breath.
“Oh my God. Donotcry—overme,” I ordered, as my own voice broke.
He nodded, trying to smile.
“I’m sorry. I’m just— I’m rattled by what happened.” Alastair swallowed with difficulty, as if he had something in his throat. He blinked at me. “I love you, Toby, and I’ll always protect you from anything or anyone that threatens you.”
I stared at him, not breathing.
“Pardon?” I whispered.
“Yeah, you heard that right.I love you.”
“That’s what I thought you said. But…but you can’t love me…”
Alastair looked genuinely confused. “Why the fuck can’t I? And if you say it’s because you don’t love me, well, I’ll deal with that. I can still love you, even then.”
My heart literally spasmed. “Of course, I fucking love you, Alastair. How could I not? But…but…” I looked around the room for some kind of explanation as to why this seemed so unbelievable. “How is this my life?”
I started to laugh, because if I didn’t, I might end up crying—thenhewould cry, and everything would be ridiculous. I’dneverget any sleep.
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you,” I said, trying to control myself. “Just the situation. We were literally leaving a kink club where you paddled my ass and told me I was a naughty boy, then myactual motherstarts hurling insults and threatening me…” I gasped a breath. “It’s all kinds of absurd, you know?”
He made a sound of agreement, the feel of his soft hands rubbing the soothing gel into the muscles of my ass a comforting and calming accompaniment.
“And now you say you love me.”
“I did say that. I mean it.”
I stared at the blue walls of his—ourbedroom, a happy smile on my face.
“I love you, too. You know, you’ve got a really sappy heart. And I’m going to take care of it,” I said. “Now, please, can you,” I asked, yawning, “get under the covers with me, or I’m gonna go to sleep on top of the comforter.”
“Sure.”
We cuddled together under the blankets, our skin and emotions bare.
“Will you make me pancakes for breakfast, Sir?” I mumbled, somewhere on the verge of sleep.
“Always.”
