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Oh yeah. That was not happening. I mean, she could give me one. She could say anything she wanted. But she couldn’t run my life. I did not say any of that out loud.
“I told you where I was.”
She stood, and I instinctively took a step back. I wasn’t afraid of her, just cautious. She’d been physical only a couple of times, but I was always prepared.
She put her hands on her hips. “You expect me to believe that some strange man took you to the Chateau Laurier to fuck you?”
Wow. What a time for her to exceed evenmyexpectations as to what a shitty person she could be. I wondered if she was on something, but I didn’t dare ask.
“I don’t care what you believe. That’s where I was.” I kept my voice level. The last thing I wanted to do was escalate this.
She examined me for a long moment, probably trying to figure out if I was lying. I felt like I had at six years old, holding a granola bar behind my back. She used to get mad at me for eating ‘extra’ food because we didn’t have much. So I’d sneak a granola bar or a cookie, like any other kid, and when she’d ask me about it, I’d lie. I didn’t think that made me a bad person—and she’d always known I was lying back then. I’d gotten better at deceiving her over the years, but I tried not to lie anymore. I was an adult now, and I didn’t have to explain myself to her.
“Huh. No tellingwhatsome men will do for a little ass.” Her gaze traveled over me, and she scowled as if I was a pile of reeking shit.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked, gazing at the floor now and trying to keep from losing it. I was so angry and so tired and so fed up. I wanted desperately to be where I had been early yesterday morning—in a beautiful room at the Chateau Laurier, dressed in my work outfit, waiting while a gorgeous stranger undressed me. I felt like Cinderella, except that Alastair wasn’t looking for me with a shoe I’d lost.
Dammit. That was a missed opportunity.
“Just wanted to make sure you were being smart. But I guess I got my answer.” She walked past me and out of the door, but she turned back and said, “At least you can’t get knocked up. But don’t come crying to me when you get sick.”
I almost said I wasn’t gonna get sick, not from what she was referring to, anyway. But there was no point. And she was leaving, and there was no way I wanted her to come back and keep provoking me. So, I bit my tongue and stayed silent.
When she’d gone I stood there, listening to her moving around.
“Tobias!” she yelled from the kitchen. “Do me a fucking favor for once and toss the dishes in the dishwasher before you head to work.”
It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer.
I waited until I heard the front door slam shut and the rumble of her beat-up Toyota making a racket as she went to her aesthetician’s assistant job that she’d managed to keep longer than a few months.
Once I knew she was gone, I went back into my room, leaving the door open, and sat down on the edge of my bed, closing my eyes and taking deep, cleansing breaths. Then I picked up my phone from the bedside table.
I’d muted it when I’d gone to bed, and there was a text message from Alastair Kenney, as if he’d known I’d been thinking about him and needed a kind word and someone being decent to me.
Hi, Toby.
I hope you’re doing well. Did you get caught up on the sleep you missed? You’re probably still sleeping. Hope so. I hope you have a good day.
The frustration, disappointment and sheer exhaustion of dealing with my mom, on top of my lack of sleep, evaporated in an instant. Also, it was cute that he used full sentences, with punctuation and everything, like he was fifty instead of thirty-five.
I answered.
thanks
i just woke up
it was good to see your message.
I waited a few minutes, but he didn’t text back, and I figured he must be at work already or busy getting ready to leave.
I called Esther, because I knew I could count on her to freak out about my adventure with Alastair in the right way.
She picked up after a couple of rings.
“Toby Dunn, how are you fucking doing?”
I ran my fingers through my hair and huffed a laugh. “I’ve been better.”
