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Esther rose from the sofa and came toward me. She was wearing a flowy skirt in rainbow colors and a black tank top. Her long hair was up in a messy bun and the silver stud in her nostril glimmered against her brown skin.
“Baby, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. It’s fine,” I said, trying to convince myself, but I didn’t feel it. I couldn’t go back there—I wassodone—but I couldn’t sleep on Esther’s couch forever.
Esther frowned, putting her hand to my cheek and gazing into my eyes. “It’s really not. But you’re here now.”
“I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t stay there.”
“Toby, I told you that you could stay over whenever. I know what she’s like.”
“Yeah. But you’ve got roommates. I don’t wanna disrupt everyone.”
Esther rolled her eyes. They were a much deeper brown than her complexion and held so much wisdom and heart. “You know Lev isn’t around much. And Deshawn comes and goes. Both of them know what you’re putting up with at home. They don’t give a shit if you have to sleep on our couch for a couple of weeks.”
“Yeah. I just feel like I should have things figured out by now.”
Esther laughed, taking my duffle bag and putting it on the sofa. “Get comfy, and don’t worry about it.”
I smiled, feeling safe again. I trusted Esther because I’d known her for so long. I didn’t know why I’d trusted Alastair, but he’d made me feel safe and well looked after, too.
“It’s hard. I don’t want to be a mooch. I should have my shit together.”
Esther frowned. “Don’t be a self-hating dick. You’re only playing into her hands when you do that.”
I squared up. “That’s true. Thanks.”
“I’ve got your back. You know that.”
Suddenly overcome with gratitude, I threw my arms around her, needing to show her just how much I appreciated her friendship.
“Oh, honey, honey,” she whispered, enveloping me in her soft, plump arms. “It’s okay.”
We were around the same height, since I was on the short side for a guy, and she was on the tall side for a girl. I tucked my head into her neck and breathed deep, inhaling her familiar and comforting smell.
“Thanks.”
“Always, Toby.”
We stayed like that for a bit. She waited until I pulled away, then she frowned and examined me with concern.
“Is everything okay otherwise?”
I blinked. “Yeah.”
“Here, come and sit,” she said, leading me out of the living room. “Lev is in their room playing Red Dead, so they won’t be out for a while.”
“Sure.” I was glad to have some time alone with Esther, even though I liked Lev and they tended to stay out of my business.
“Are you hungry? We can order the pizza now.”
“Yeah, okay.” I dug my wallet out of my pocket. “Here… I’ve got a couple of twenties.”
“I told you I’d cover it.”
I gave her a look. “I can pay for my share.”
“Of course, you can, but I don’t want you to. Keep your money. This is my treat,” she said. “And I’m not your mom, so you don’t have to worry about being beholden.” She rolled her eyes.
