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“When I went to fetch him yesterday, because he hadn’t turned up at the christening, I was angry with him for being drunk. And he said it was my fault, that I shouldn’t have told him about Charlie.” He gave a dry laugh. “If it wasn’t so tragic, it would be funny.”
“Why?”
“Because they were the same words that Charlie used about Joseph.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Joseph found out that Maggie was in a relationship with one of the teachers, and to get back at Maggie for him losing his job, he told Charlie that everyone knew about the affair except him and that people were laughing at him behind his back. It wasn’t true; nobody knew about it, and Maggie and her husband were going to tell Charlie during the summer that they both had other partners.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly. “I lied, Iris. I lied about Charlie’s last words. He didn’t ask me to tell Maggie that he loved her. He told me to tell her that he would never forgive her, that his accident was her fault because she shouldn’t have done what she did. And then he said that he—meaning Joseph—shouldn’t have told him.”
“Oh, Gabriel.” Iris came over and put her arms around him. “I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through these last few months.”
“I couldn’t tell the truth, you do see that, don’t you?” he said, hisvoice breaking. “If I’d had any sense, I would have said that Charlie hadn’t said anything. But when the paramedics asked, I had to think on my feet and all I could come up with wasTell Mum I love her.”
“It was the right thing to do. It was absolutely the right thing to do.”
“But I shouldn’t have told Joseph that Charlie’s death was his fault. That’s why he started drinking on Saturday night. He couldn’t cope with the guilt. And now I have his death on my conscience, as well as Pierre’s, because I should have gone to Paris to see him, right at the beginning of it all.”
“You are not to blame,” Iris said fiercely. “Look at me, Gabriel.” She gave his shoulders a shake. “It’s important that you listen. Does anyone else know what you’ve just told me about Charlie’s message?”
“No.”
“Then don’t ever tell anyone. Do you hear me, Gabriel? And you’ve got to stop saying that Joseph’s death is your fault, especially in front of Beth. Do you understand?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
“Good. Now I’m going upstairs to see Beth, and when you see her, you’re going to tell her that you’ve just found out that she and Joseph were going to meet in Thailand and that you’re devastated for her and are very sorry about what happened to him.”
She left, and he sat there, crushed and broken with guilt.
EPILOGUE
IRIS
It’s Joseph’s funeral today. Beth insisted on going, and there was nothing Gabriel or I could do to dissuade her. So he has taken her to Winchester, where the service is being held.
Everybody understood when I said I’d rather stay behind. Beth told me, in the aftermath of Joseph’s death, that the reason she hadn’t said anything about meeting up with him in Thailand was because she knew that Joseph and I had fallen out.
“Did he tell you why?” I asked.
Beth was in bed at the time, and she sank back against the pillows, scrunching an ever-present tissue in her fingers. “He said you told the police you’d seen him and Laure arguing on the day she died, and that because of it, he’d been taken in for questioning,” she said, with more than a hint of reproach in her voice.
“It was an honest mistake, and I apologized for it,” I explained.
“He said there was other stuff. But he wouldn’t tell me what.”
I had to think quickly. “He knew I wasn’t happy about his relationship with Laure. I felt he was taking advantage of the fact that she was in a vulnerable place.”
Beth sat up so abruptly that I reared back in alarm.
“He-he had an affair with Laure?” The words stuttered out of her.
My hand flew to my mouth. “Beth, I’m so sorry. Didn’t he mention it?”
She shook her head, then lay back down and began to sob, her face turned to the wall, and I felt a real hatred toward Joseph, for not telling Beth about Laure. It confirmed what Gabriel and I had come to realize, that Joseph was predatory. Nothing might have happened between him and Beth, but I suspected that if she’d known about his relationship with Laure, she would have quickly closed down any feelings she might have had for him. Joseph had probably guessed it too.
“Beth, there’s something else you should know,” I said, acknowledging that I was about to cause her even more anguish. She didn’t turn around, but her shoulders stopped heaving so I carried on. “Joseph lost his job at St. Cuthbert’s because he’d been exchanging messages with one of the students about meeting up in Bangkok during the summer holidays.”
For a few seconds, Beth’s body froze. Then she let out a wail that came from deep inside her.
