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“A lot of things get taken for granted the older we get. I’d give anything to have another day with my mom.”
He meets my gaze. “How old were you when she passed?”
“Nine.” I shake my head. “They didn’t want us to know that she was sick, but looking back, it should have been obvious.”
His eyebrows pinch together. “I thought I heard she died in an accident.”
“She did, but she also had cancer. My dad was late getting home one night, and she needed her pain pills. Instead of waiting for him, she got in the van and drove down the street. It was only a few miles away, so it shouldn’t have taken her long.” I pause as the painful memories swirl in my mind. “We knew something was wrong when my dad made it home before her. The cops showed up a bit later, saying that she had crashed into another car. I guess when she got her pain pills, she took a handful and didn’t think that it might impair her. Or maybe she knew what she was doing.”
It’s the first time I’ve said the words aloud.
Kieran asks, “You think she committed suicide?”
“I think she was in a lot of pain from the chemo and was tired of trying to be brave for everyone.” My voice lowers. “Who can blame her for just wanting to rest?”
He says nothing, and I fear I’ve ruined the moment. He puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close.
“If that’s the case, then she was selfish, Ari. She shouldn’t have left her children behind just because she was tired.”
My eyes water. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. You’re going to pay me back for this trip to the Statue, though.”
The glint in his eyes makes it known exactly how he expects to be repaid.
I laugh. “Deal.”
9
Ari
I look at the date on the TV, hardly believing it’s Christmas Eve. Time has flown since I’ve been here, but it also feels like I’m stuck in a loop. Every day is the same and, as much as I like Kieran and the sex we have, I’m starting to feel… down.
I sigh. A man like Kieran probably doesn’t celebrate the holidays, which makes me even more depressed. I mean, there’s not even a tree or menorah. Nothing. Just the same old cold décor with no warmth. That might summarize Kieran completely, if I’m being honest. Cold with no warmth. Well, that’s not entirely true. I see bits of passion when we have sex, though not much.
Since I’ve realized that I have feelings for him, I’ve been trying to talk myself out of it. Like, he’s a terrible guy, so I shouldn’t like him. But then he turns around and brings me my favorite food. Or he’s only interested in me because of the contract. But then he asks about my mom. I sigh. I need to get him to connect with me on an emotional level, but I don’t know how to do that. Asking him outright will not work. I know Kieran. That will make him shut down faster than anything.
No, I’m thinking sex is the key. And something he said the other day has stuck with me. He said he wanted to fill me with his come and put a baby in me. Now, I might chalk that up to bedroom talk, or, in our case, kitchen counter talk, but he’s made similar comments more than once. Does he want a family? Is that it? Maybe I should try to talk to him the next time we have sex and see where it goes.
I’m deep in thought when he enters the room.
“Are you taking your birth control pills regularly?”
“Of course I am.”
“And the vitamins Grim sent?”
“Yes, even though they taste like ass.”
His eyebrow lifts. “Good.”
“Can you ask him what brand he prescribed?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. These just make me feel different. More nauseous.”
Something flickers in his gaze. “I’ll ask. Now, get over here. I want you to ride my dick.”
