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“Are you a slut?” I chewed slowly on my bite.
“I have a healthy need for sex with a variety of women. I like to exercise my right to explore all avenues.” He cut his tomato in half and let the tines of his fork play with the center, it was very erotic, thinking of what else that tomato could be. “But sadly, my international tour of all things female is coming to an end.” He placed the tomato in his mouth and sucked out the seeds. It was very weird and completely erotic.
“Why?” Now I was curious. “Why stop sleeping around now? From the looks of it, you’re having a grand ol’ time.” I played with a very bad Irish accent.
“I’m going to have to take the throne soon and with it a wife.” He took another bite of food without saying more.
“Oh,” My heart fell through my feet. “So, do you have someone lined up already?” Suddenly, I wasn’t hungry at all, the day had just gotten infinitely worse. I vowed to myself that after breakfast I was definitely going to leave and never think of Liam again. I even made a deal with myself to not say anything about having sex with him. I’d just tell people I crashed at his place after drinking too much.
“Nope.” His intense stare bored into me. “Haven’t a clue.”
“When do you have to get married?” How the hell could he not have someone already arranged?
“Yesterday. Last year, many years ago. But definitely, before I turn forty in a few months. So, I’ve got to get a move on to find the next queen of Ireland.”
“Are you shitting me seriously? Aren’t kingdoms nuts about stuff like that? I mean, according to Disney, you have to get betrothed at birthright?”
“Usually, but I was a stubborn little cuss. I refused every single one. I did have one special lady, but she wasn’t for me. Now, I’m stuck having to scramble. I have unfortunately been betrothed since a young age, but it’s nothing official and so not binding.” He sipped his tea, looking less worried than I thought he should look.
“It doesn’t stress you out?” I was so intrigued I forgot to even be jealous.
“It does worry me a lot, but I think I have a plan.” His eyes narrowed to slits heated with deviousness.
“And what would that be?” I tried to mirror his expression.
“I’ll marry you.”
I choked on my sausage—served me right for playing with my food.
I was seriously trying to get air, which freaked Liam so much he came around behind me and started slapping really hard, which just basically hurt my back, but after a few minutes I calmed down and could breathe again.
“You could what?” I barked out.
“Marry you,” he said calmly again.
“And how does that work exactly?” I barely had my wits back when I asked.
“Well, we go to a church, you wear a big obnoxious white dress and we party and drink, do more of what we’ve been doing all night and make little princes and princesses for my father to dote on.” He had to be kidding.
“You’re funny.” I shook it all off. “You’ve got a weird sense of humor. I’m not sure I like it, but you make me laugh.”
“Well, darling, I’m so glad you find me amusing. I think you’re delightfully sparky, incredibly beautiful, talented, and probably the sexiest woman I’ve ever met because you are the whole package. I don’t see any reason to keep shopping. You’re a woman I could marry, so let’s get married.” He was still going on with this sick little joke.
“Liam, cool it. It’s not funny anymore.” I took a deep swallow of tea to try and calm my racing heart.
“I’m not being funny. I have to marry a woman in the next few months, the sooner the better. She can’t be pregnant at the wedding, at least not obviously so, but will have to be pregnant soon after, within the month at the latest. There is a woman in Ireland who is being groomed for this role as we speak. She’s mousy, timid, plain, and dull. She and I have spoken on several occasions at length about the fact that I am not interested in being her husband. As she is the one selected for me, she has agreed to this role and is still preparing herself for it. We have come to a truce. If I didn’t find someone I want to marry before we were forced to unite, we’d stay together long enough to produce two children, and then get divorced with her getting an incredible alimony package and generous child support. I’m sure she secretly thinks I’ll fall in love with her, but the chances of that are rather slim.”
“That poor woman.” Hearing Liam’s story, I was starting to feel less worried about me and more concerned for a person who would have to marry Liam, bear his children, and pretend to be queen knowing he’d never love her.
