Page 43 of Hold Me


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Rafael

I wakeup to a pounding on the door. “Rafe!”

Sitting up, I swipe a hand over my face. Fuck. My head is pounding, and my stomach feels like a cement mixer. There’s a moment, one blissful moment where all I think about is my hangover, and then everything rushes back in like a flood. Anna. Like a clap of thunder, she rips through my thoughts in an instant. “Rafe!” There’s another rap on the door.

“Yeah?” I croak.

The door opens, and Samuel walks in, his nose now well and truly bruised, courtesy of Una. His eyes flick over me briefly, taking in my clothes from yesterday. “Una left.”

I rub a hand over the back of my neck. “I know.”

He glances over his shoulder nervously before stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “What do you mean you know?” he hisses.

“I saw her last night.”

He drags both hands through his hair and releases an aggravated breath. “Please do not tell the Italians that. She drugged Nero to get away.”

I push to my feet and fight the wave of dizziness. “I have no intention of telling Nero.”

“She went for Anna?”

I nod. “It’s not like I could have stopped her anyway.” He eyes me. “But even if I could, I wouldn’t.”

“She’s pregnant, Rafe,” he says quietly.

“I know that.” I snap. “But it’s Anna. I trust that Una wouldn’t just hand herself over in some suicide mission. It’s not how she operates.”

“You trust the Russian?”

“I trust that she loves her sister.” I drag my shirt over my head and wince at my aching muscles. The pounding in my skull is getting louder. I need coffee.

“You look like shit,” Sam says, eyeing me up and down. “I’ll be downstairs.” The door clicks shut behind him

I walk into the bathroom and glance at my reflection in the mirror. Dark circles linger beneath my eyes, and the left side of my face has turned an ugly purple from Una’s right hook yesterday. He’s right. I look like shit, but I can’t muster the will to care.

After a shower and a change of clothes, I go downstairs. It’s sheer chaos. The tension in the penthouse could be cut with a knife. Nero is pacing the length of the kitchen. His hair sticking up everywhere as though he’s been running his fingers through it non-stop. A red mark is very clearly visible on the side of his neck, and I guess that’s where Una drugged him.

I take a seat at the breakfast bar next to Samuel with Gio on the other side. Nero pauses, turning to face me. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, and it’s a testament to how rattled he is because I’ve never seen the Italian out of a suit. He’s a mafia boss. A cold killer. He’s the guy I hired to kill my father, a powerful cartel boss. And yet right now, he looks exactly how I feel. Helpless, pitiful…broken.

“Rafael, do you have contacts in Russia?” he asks.

I frown. “I supply the Bratva with coke, but so do the other cartels. They’re business acquaintances only.”

He clenches and releases his fists before resuming his pacing. “We know where she’s heading, but we’d never get there in time. I just need to get someone to stop her.” He slams a palm against the breakfast bar. “But we fucking have no one.”

“Let me make a call.” I slide off the bar stool and go into the living room, standing at the window. I stare at my phone for a moment. Do I try and help him? I let Una go last night because I knew it was her and only her who could get Anna back. My fingers tighten around the phone until my knuckles turn white. I’m not a man of morals. I understand only business and violence, and selfish need. Anna is the most selfish and absorbed need I have. Nero is my greatest business ally, and Una…well, she is something they both love. Where does that leave me? If I loved Anna, truly loved her, surely I’d save her sister? It’s what she would want, isn’t it?

I rest my forehead against the cool glass of the window, hoping to slow the whirlwind of useless thoughts firing through my head.

“Are you going to call Dimitri?” I glance over my shoulder at Samuel.

“I don’t know. I doubt very much that he’ll help.” There’s a moment of silence. “Would she hate me for letting her sister go?” I whisper.

“Does it matter? You love her. Do you really care if she hates you as long as she’s safe?”

“We’ve only ever known basic survival, Sam. The cartel was our salvation.” I look at him. “I feel like I can’t fucking breathe without her. I should be better, but I’m selfish, especially when it comes to her. I’d sacrifice a lot more than her sister to have her back.”

“Good. Because you’re probably going to have to.” He holds his hand out for the phone, and I place it in his palm. “I’ll call Dimitri.” He eyes me meaningfully, and I nod, walking out of the room. It’s best that it’s out of my hands.

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