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She blinked around the room and felt her cheeks flare red. “Did I mumble out loud again?”
Jamsheed chuckled and kissed her deeply, his tongue twisting with hers and promising so much more later. “No, but we could all read that expression.”
“Some twins do deliver vaginally, but with the more multiples, the larger the operating team and the more intense the risks. We’ll want to have as much control over the delivery as possible. We’ll schedule to induce you at seven and a half months. It’s unlikely you’ll get past that and we’ll want to ensure as well you don’t deliver early.”
“I… oh, how badly is that going to hurt?” she asked.
Jamsheed wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders, and she did everything she could to try and relax. She closed her eyes and thought back to the stunning view of London on the Ferris wheel, to the smell of turmeric that drove her wild and, even now, made heat flare through her belly.
“You’ll make it through everything. You’re so very strong.”
“Yeah, but there weren’t three of Haley!”
Jazmina walked over to the other side of the bed and patted her hand. “My sheikha, we shall all do this together.”
“Yes, but only one of us gets cut open!”
***
“Should I go back to my bed?” she asked, walking in a daze.
It sounded morbid but she felt almost as shocked as she did the day of her father’s heart attack. It wasn’t because she didn’t love Jamsheed or even because she didn’t love the babies. Of course she did. But the realization of how intense her pregnancy was going to be, of how many risks there were… She was an older mother carrying triplets, and so much could go wrong. It wasn’t just that it was going to hurt, but that there was a very real risk that their fairy tale ending could come crashing down, and it would be her body’s fault.
With Haley, it was one child, and Brenda was still a teenager. Now she had so much more riding on her and consequently, so much more to lose. She and Jamsheed were fighting so hard to come together. How could they do that when all she could think about was C-sections and high-risk surgery complications?
“You need to stay here. I’ve already had Jazmina fetch your things. You’ll be in my wing from now on. You’re going to be the sheikha soon. We’ll move up our wedding even faster. I can’t because of certain religious rules and things we must procure do it any faster than when you’ll be at six months, but we have to make sure—”
“—That no one’s a bastard?” she interrupted. “I’ve always hated myself for doing that to Haley. I know she’s an amazing young woman, but I hated that kids could use it against her. Wield it like a sword and make her question herself. I won’t let that happen twice.”
He cleared his throat and then pulled back the comforter on the bed. She was wearing nothing more enticing or fancy than a comfy pair of yoga pants and an old Dave Matthews Band t-shirt. She hardly felt like a sheikha now. Hardly felt like she had a chance of attracting his attention or keeping it.
There will be someone else. I’m not really a queen. I’m not worthy of any of this.
“You need to rest. I know it’s a shock. I’m surprised too,” he said.
She nodded as she curled into her pillow. “I guess the big thing was that before with Haley, I had to figure out what to do. I had to tell my parents and we had to scrape money together.” Brenda rolled her eyes back her Jamsheed. “I can tell from the size of the palace that I could have a whole litter and not set you back.”
“True, and you can trust me that three children will be no better cared for than by me. We can figure all of it out together, including how to make Haley feel a part of this family.”
“I just… There’s so much, and I’m scared it’ll hurt and I’m scared there might be complications. This is a big, scary, all-encompassing thing, but it’s also one of the best things I’ve ever done. I could have gone home to the States or found a different mid job in London. I could have said no, and I know parts of this still make me nervous.”
He nodded even as he stroked his goatee. “I know.”
“And that’s my fault too, all of my trust issues built up over a lifetime.”
“But?”
“But, I would never forgive myself if there were too many complications…” she choked up then and felt the tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn’t say the rest of it out loud, as if by voicing her very fears that they’d be real, that she’d lose the babies then and there.
He was sitting by her side on the bed almost before she could blink. Leaning down, Jamsheed swept her up into his arms and kissed her forehead then trailed his lips down her cheek. “I won’t let that happen. Fate has to listen to sheikhs, most of the time.”
“Not always,” she said, hiccuping a little.
“My father is still hanging in there, still has the best medical care. I will have the same for you.” He pressed a palm to her belly. “Our children are fighters because their mother is a fighter.”
“And they’re confident because you never back down from anything,” she echoed, laughing a bit at all of Jamsheed’s bravado.
“True, but that’s a good thing.”
