AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Cuba
He’s gone.
Jackson is dead, and I’ll never see him again. We’ll never play another game together. We’ll never be in the same space ever again.
It’s been sixty days, twelve hours, twenty-eight minutes, and three seconds since he left. Leaving me behind to drown in the memories.
My hand clenches the neck of my Hennessey bottle tighter as I pop a few little white pills into my mouth and chase it back with the brown liquor. I need to feel the numbness, I need my brain to be quiet and stop the reruns of my memories. Eyeing the pills scattered on my coffee table, I focus on them as if they are screaming my name, begging me to let them join the party. Part of my brain is trying to shut down this idea, but other side wants the thoughts to stop.
With no further thought, I sweep up the rest of the pills and swallow them back in one gulp. I don’t even feel the burn from the liquor anymore. I don’t want to feel it, I don’t want to feel anything. I just want to stay numb and my eyes flutter closed.
It’s the sound of beeping that wakes me, and I start to search for my phone, not wanting to open my eyes. But all I feel are cold crisp sheets. I don’t remember having sheets on the couch, but then again, I don’t remember anything anymore.
The beeping goes off again and there are soft whispers near me. What the fuck? I try to force my eyes open, but they are so heavy. Who is in my house?
Finally, my eyes open, and I have to blink my vision into focus. I’m not at home, I’m in the hospital. Swallowing the knot in my throat, I look to my left. My mom is sitting in the chair, her hand reaching to grab mine. She usually never has a hair out of place, but her creamy, milk chocolate skin is make-up free, and her long hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail. Guilt hits me the moment my eyes lock onto her dark brown teary ones. She looks as if she has been crying for hours, and I know I’m the reason for her tears.
Her hand flies to her mouth. “Baby boy,” she chokes. “Oh, thank you Jesus.”
Then I see my dad step up behind her, his hand on her quivering shoulder. His hazel eyes are red, but they are also angry. There is no doubt that he is upset. I don’t need to know why I am here, the disappointment on his face tells me. I almost died.
My mom tells me through her sobs what happened. My parents came to check on me as they usually do. They found me on the couch, my liquor bottle on the floor, empty, and the unmarked pill bottle tipped over. The moment they went to reach for me is the moment I stopped breathing. She chokes, telling me that the paramedics had to give me CPR to restart my breathing. That explains my sore chest. Everything was a blur when they wheeled me into the ER. Apparently, my stomach has been pumped because of my overdose.
It’s not until my mom walks out of the room to make a call that my dad takes her place in the seat. He runs a hand through his dark, short curls and the olive skin around his eyes crinkles to narrow his gaze at me.
I brace myself for his words, because I know they won’t be nice.
“Dammit Cuba.” He sighs. “You nearly gave your mom and I a fucking heart attack,” he says quietly.
I don’t say anything, just shift my eyes away from his to my hands.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” I can hear the disappointment in his voice.
“I wasn’t,” I choke out. My voice is raspy, and my throat is killing me.
“Clearly. Shit. Fuck. Damn,” he rambles. My dad has always cursed, but he’s never said three at one time. “This can’t happen again, Cuba. I will not lose my son. I will not lose you.” His voice strains with conviction and emotion.
I nod because I can’t bear to speak again. I don’t trust myself.
He snaps his fingers. “Look at me.” And I do. I see the tears escape from his sad eyes and I can’t take it. I let my own fall too, I don’t fight them or wipe them away.
The bed dips and I blink through my tears as I see my dad pull me into his chest, rocking me like I’m a baby again. His chest shakes over me, we’re both crying. I almost died, he almost lost his son. I did this to them when all they have tried to do was be there for me. All I did was push them away.
He rubs my back, shushing me to calm down. “We’ll get you help but only if you want it. You can either go to rehab or you are on your own, I can’t let you ruin your mom. I just can’t.”
I don’t even think about my choices, I quickly nod against his chest. Jackson would be disappointed if he saw me like this. Weak.
“I’ll go,” I struggle to say.
I had no choice. I had to go because I couldn’t put my parents through this again. I don’t want to be waken up in the hospital after an overdose to be reoccurring, because what if one day I don’t wake up? I won’t be seeing Jackson behind a pearly white gate.
Fuck.
I shoot up in bed, clenching my chest to find the pain isn’t there. Breathing deeply, I look over to see Bliss asleep next to me. Grabbing the water bottle on the nightstand, I gulp it quickly to try and calm my body down.
Lying back, I pull Bliss into my chest and hold her. She always soothes me, just her being here. Breathing in her lavender scent, I slowly drift back to sleep.
Oliver sits across from me tapping his pen against his chin before setting it down on the pad that’s on his lap.
