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There’s a guard standing by the door, arms folded, watching my every move. The only furniture in the room is two folding chairs.
Astrid’s face is creased with pity as she reaches out to hug me.
“No touching!” The guard barks at her. Astrid shoots him an exasperated look and sinks down in the chair.
“Sorry,” I say to her apologetically. “Can’t get good help these days.” Astrid hands me the pastry, and I wolf it down.
“My God, Tamara. I’ve been so worried about you. But I talked to your lawyer and he seems optimistic.” She gives me a hopeful smile as she says that.
“Nothing to worry about,” I say. “I mean that, Astrid. I don’t want you to waste mental energy on me. I want you to concentrate on yourself and the kids. How are they doing?”
“Well, Joshua bought our house— Sorry,” she says, when she sees me twitch. “I won’t say that name again. Our house sold. We got a very good price for it, and we’re buying a house in Colorado. Starting fresh.”
“Any sign of…” I let the words trail off.
She manages a tight smile. “My ex-husband? He’s my ex now. I was granted a divorce. No, there’s no clue where he might be. We all know what happened to him, though, don’t we? Despite everything, I hope it was quick.”
But we both know it wasn’t.
“Anyway,” she continues, “the kids and I are going to testify during your trial. We’ll be character witnesses. I know the temporary insanity plea will work. The media coverage has been really sympathetic, you know. The publicist has people rallying for you. They’re calling you a hero for killing that scumbag.”
“Publicist?” I ask, then I see her wince.
Joshua.
He hired a publicist.
Fucking hell. I just want him to leave mealone.
Well, I want more than that. I want him never to have left me. I want him to break through these doors and carry me away… But I can’t have all that, so I want to forget he ever lived.
“Anyway. Change of subject. Geoff says hi,” she says, shifting in the chair.
I’m momentarily baffled. “Who?”
“Oh. Sergeant Carter. Ex-sergeant. He lost his job when he came to California to rescue us. He’s doing security work now.” She’s blushing a little and looks away.
I actually feel a tiny spark of happiness for her, shining brightly above the dullness. “Geoff, huh?”
She tries to hide her smile and fails. “We’re sort of dating, I guess.”
I arch a skeptical eyebrow. “How’s that work? Is that like being sort of a virgin or sort of dead?”
Astrid snorts and rolls her eyes. “Okay, okay. We’re dating. He’s been flying out to Colorado to visit me and has a job lined up there. Is that weird? I mean, given how we met?”
“Not weird at all. You guys share a unique bond. And he’s a really good person, I could tell. He visited me in the hospital after I was rescued.”
“The kids like him a lot. My boys need a father figure.” She sounds a little defensive.
“Astrid. Seriously, I’m delighted.”
“Sorry.” She shifts in her seat, brushing imaginary lint off her pants with flattened palms. “I guess I feel like it’s a freaky way to meet a man, but…I really like him.”
“You deserve this, Astrid.”
“Thank you.” She looks at me with worry. “I feel like I failed you.”
“You did no such thing. I’m a big girl. I make my own decisions, and I live with the consequences. Nothing you could have said or done would have stopped me.” She doesn’t look convinced. “Astrid, you were the bravest person I’ve ever met when we were at Micah’s house, and the best mother. I will always be grateful for what you did for me. I want you to live your life and be happy and not worry about me at all. You don’t even have to come to the trial. You should put all this behind you.”
