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Remi scoops up another shovelful of earth, tears running down both sides of her face and dripping onto the dirt.
“I always put you first,” she says bitterly. “Even when I shouldn’t. That’s why it never worked out with Gideon—because he was second place, and he knew it.”
“He should be second!” Jude shrieks. As his thin shoulders shake, he looks both childlike and oddly ancient, deep lines of fury etched into his face. “I’m the one you’re supposed to love! I’m the one you’re supposed to take care of!”
Remi stabs the shovel down in the dirt, hand clenched around the handle. She glares at Jude, her blue eyes bright and burning.
“Love goes both ways. You lied to me, Jude. You used me. You manipulated me.”
“Pick that up!” He jerks the gun at her.
“No.” Remi shakes her head. “If you’re going to shoot me, you’re going to have to shoot me here and now, face to face. I won’t make it easy on you.”
“You already have,” Jude says, and he cocks the safety with his thumb.
There’s no time for thought or planning. I launch myself out of the darkness, stabbing the scalpel straight down into his arm. The gun goes flying into the bushes. Jude and I roll around on the ground, kicking, punching, biting, clawing. It’s a fight where I have all the advantage in height and strength, but Jude has become some kind of unholy animal, powered by desperation and rage.
I’ve lost the scalpel, but I manage to get my hands around his throat. I throttle him until the blood vessels begin to burst in his eyes, ignoring the punches he rains on my face and the deep gouges in my arms from his fingernails.
At last, he weakens, his pale face turning a dusky purple, until Remi screams, “STOP IT! BOTH OF YOU STOP!” and I realize she’s recovered the gun and pointed it at us both.
I relax my hands on Jude’s throat, but I don’t let him up, pinning him in the dirt with my knees.
His face is filthy, blood in his teeth. The burst vessels in his eyes make him look nothing short of demonic.
Still, he softens his voice and tries to plead with his sister.
“It’s not too late, Remi…” His tone is high and wheedling. “It can still be you and me. We don’t needhim.We can pin it all on Dane—Gideon, the sheriff—everyone already knows he’s a killer. We’ll be heroes. Or we can just bury him right here next to your ex—nobody’s going to look.”
Remi’s eyes meet mine, and I can see that hers are filled with tears—tears of pain and anguish and even love because love doesn’t die so easy. No matter what Jude has done or how he’s hurt her, she loves him still and probably always will.
“What are you waiting for?” Jude cries, his voice tearing. “You barely know him, I’m your brother!I’mthe one who saved you from those cops, not him—“
“You’re the one who drugged me in the first place,” Remi says. “You gave me that drink with the lid already off.“
“Only so you’d get sleepy and come home!” Jude howls. “I was looking out for you, I protected you! I love you, Remi,I’mthe one who loves you, not him!”
Remi’s head hangs down.
Her lips barely move as she whispers, “Then why do I always feel so alone?”
She turns to look at me. The sadness on her face could fill an ocean with her tears.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I’m sorry I ever thought it was you…”
I shrug. “It’s okay. How many mistakes do we make?”
Remi sighs. “Infinite.”
“I forgive you. I’m always going to forgive you. I love you, Remi. I love you, and I trust you.”
You can’t have one without the other.
Remi and I have both.
“That’s twice you saved me,” she says. “Three times, if you count helping me to see the truth…Thank you for helping me to do better. Thank you for helping me tobebetter. I love you, Dane.”
Jude shrieks in rage.
