AllFreeNovel
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Even when things were the best between us, even before I knew what he was doing, I never felt like I could share my whole soul. I had to censor what I told Gideon so we wouldn’t have an argument.
I think of our best and warmest moments. When I had the flu and Gideon cancelled a work project to take care of me. When we visited the castles in Spain. All the times I was late at a job and he picked up Jude from school…
And then I remember the sick, sinking feeling of finding the first bobby pin in his car. Then the second, and the third…
Jude’s voice whispers in my ear:
You only see what you want to see…
“I wish I wasn’t so fucking blind.”
The words come out of my mouth and hang in the air.
I didn’t mean to say that, but the more I think about it, the truer it feels.
I was blind.
I didn’t see what was going on all around me.
And it should have been obvious.
Dane lets out a sigh. My shoulders sink and I lose confidence.
“You think I’m pathetic.”
“Don’t speak for me,” Dane says coolly. “That’s not what I was thinking at all.”
“What, then?” I sneak a glance.
His face floats like a pale moon above the dark collar of his shirt. His hands are clasped loosely in front of him, carved from marble. His pallor is beautiful inside this indigo house, like they were made for each other. I’ve never belonged like that, not even in my own family.
My father was warm and confident, my mother bewitching, Jude a child prodigy…I was the odd duck. That was fine when we were all together, but then my parents were gone and all my quirks became flaws and mistakes…
“I was thinking you remind me of myself.”
That’s the last thing I expected Dane to say. My chest gets hot with a red glow of pleasure that he thinks we’re alike. Mixed with a little panic wondering exactly what he means.
“Is that a good thing?” I’m smiling a little.
Dane isn’t. “Probably not.”
“You really know how to give a girl a compliment.”
“Is that what you want? Compliments?”
His mouth is sensual and cruel. He’s so calm that he makes the air go still around him.
I shake my head. “I told you what I want.”
“More control?”
“Yes.”
“Less blindness.”
“Yeah.”
I don’t even know if it’s possible. Could I change the most broken parts of myself?
