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“Do you see the sky?” Dane asks.
“Yes.”
“Do you see the waves?”
“Yes.”
“The sand?”
“…No…”
I’d only been picturing rolling blue water.
I don’t like the deep ocean.
In fact, it terrifies me.
That’s how I feel when I’m scared and stressed…like I’m drowning. I swim and I swim as cold water drags me down. Until I want to give up and sink into darkness.
“Don’t jump in the ocean,” says Dane with a touch of amusement. “You’re on the beach—standing on the sand. The waves lap at your feet…”
I picture it how he says: blue ocean, white sand under my heels, sun overhead, cold water washing my toes…
I begin to feel warm and calm instead of afraid.
Dane’s voice is as melodic as an instrument. He should have recorded audiobooks for a living—it would have been a hell of a lot easier than med school.
“How many waves are there?” he asks.
I watch them come in on the canvas of my mind. Wave after wave, today, tomorrow, and forever…
“…Infinite.”
“That’s right.” I can hear that he’s pleased, though my eyes are closed. “Infinite waves. And how many mistakes do we make?”
I pause, feeling the wash of cold foam again and again on my toes…
“Infinite.”
“That’s right,” Dane sighs. “Infinite mistakes.”
* * *
16
REMI
“You’re awake.”
My eyes open.
I’m sitting cross-legged on the floor.
Dane sits just opposite, like he hasn’t moved at all. But he has moved, I’m sure of it…the windows are opaquely black, and the candles have burned down. Even Dane himself looks altered—his hair rumpled, and his skin flushed.
“How do you feel?” he says.
“I…I…I’m not sure.”
