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“But I did leave them…” Merrick moans.
“You didn’t abandon your sons—you avenged their mother. And they already forgive you for it. Your boys are strong and capable because you and Stella loved each other and raised good men. They were able to handle themselvesbecauseof you. Lookwhat a good job you did—give glory to your wife by enjoying them for her.”
“I can’t,” he sobs. “I let them down. I let them down.”
I don’t know what comes over me. Maybe it’s the stress and pain I’ve seen on Sullivan’s face. Maybe it’s the hope he’s barely allowed himself to feel this week. Maybe it’s my resentment at my own father.
I grab Merrick by the shoulders and force him to look into my face, practically shaking him.
“Then stop letting them down!” I bark. “Sullivan doesn’t care what happened before—do you hear me? He loves you! He loves you so fucking hard! The ONLY thing he cares about is you getting safe and healthy again. If you care about him, you’ll stop punishing yourself.”
Merrick blinks at me with eyes that are definitely bloodshot now, but from tears, not the bleariness of alcohol.
Miserably, he says, “I can’t do it. I’ve failed so many times. I’m weak.”
“There’s nothing weak about how you feel about your sons. Do it for them if you can’t do it for yourself.”
It hurts me to say that. My dad didn’t love me enough to change. He didn’t even love me enough to stay.
But Merrick is different than my dad. I’ve seen for myself.
Hedoeslove his sons. And love is a powerful motivator.
“Anyone can change anything they want about themselves if they’re willing to do the work. Look at me—I was a scared little mouse, now I’m fleecing a billionaire. I was a broke-ass bitch, but I’m going to open my own restaurant. I was a lonely loser, and now I’m…friends with the hottest person I know.”
Even with his face swollen with tears, Merrick has to scoff at that.
“Friends,”he snorts. “You two are ridiculous.”
Hope leaps in my chest even though we’re supposed to be talking about Merrick.
“You think Sully likes me?”
I’m nakedly transparent, but Merrick is kind. He stands up, holding out his hand to help me do the same.
“He’s crazy about you, kid.”
Now I could cry from pure elation.
Hearing that from Merrick means a hell of a lot more than hearing it from Martinique—Merrick sees us when we’re not pretending.
And he knows his son. So unless Merrick’s just being nice…maybe, just maybe…it could be true?
I’m scared for him to see how happy that makes me. I’m scared to even feel it.
So I try to play it cool even though I have never, ever been anything close to approaching “cool.”
“Well, good,” I say. “‘Cause, you know…I kinda like him, too.”
Merrick makes a soft sound that I eventually recognize as a laugh.
“I know, kid. You’re pretty obvious.”
27
SULLY
The first outing with Angus goes even better than I hoped. I take him around to a couple of properties that might fit the bill. If he decides to take one of those, I’ll make a nice, fat commission. But the real goal is to sell him my land. If I can hook that particular whale, I’ll pocket almost twelve million dollars.
