AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She’s not your girlfriend.
What I’m feeling is too much, what I can say is too little.
I’m glad I took the top down on the car because I know I’d be sweating otherwise. I flip through the dials, let the first clear song play.Paradisestreams from the speakers. Theo tilts her head back against the seat and smiles at me.
My hand drops down on the nape of her neck. Theo blinks at me slowly like a cat, warm and sleepy. I rub my thumb gently against the tension at the base of her neck until it melts away.
We’re driving down the Pacific Coast Highway, which is the most glorious highway in America; I’ll put it up against anyother. Take a drive at sunset and see the coast bathed in pastel turquoise and lilac before flaming down in melting shades of orange and red.
Theo’s skin reflects every color like a pearl, her eyes as clear as the ocean. I can’t stop sneaking glances at her, knowing that, like the sky, she’ll only look exactly this way just once.
Her hand slips into mine. She interlocks our fingers and squeezes.
“Are you nervous? For Reese?”
I let out my breath and admit the truth. “So fucking nervous. If this thing blows up in his face?—“
“It won’t.”
She sounds so certain.
“If it’s not this, it’ll be the next thing,” Theo says with quiet confidence. “You remember that freshman showcase where Reese did the improv set with all the props? Even the teachers were pissing themselves, he had the principal rolling…None of us were surprised when he gotRocko Rocks!Reese is right about one thing…he was made for the screen.”
Theo makes you feel what she’s feeling.
She believes in Reese. She believes in me. She thinks tonight’s going to be beautiful, and maybe it is…because it sure looks beautiful from where I’m sitting.
The coast spools away behind her, Theo’s dark hair alive in the wind. Salt air in our lungs makes it feel like we’re sailing, not driving.
I say, “I think I want him to succeed even more than he does. How did this happen? I don’t want to be so invested.”
I meant it like a joke. I said it sort of laughing. But Theo sees right through me.
“You take care of him,” she says simply, her fingers gripped with mine.
For better or for worse, whenever I’ve locked eyes with Theo Mahoney, she’salwaysbeen able to see right through me.
“I was cleaning out the pool with your dad,” she says softly. “He told me what happened when he was sent away. How you were left alone?—”
“I was fine,” I say sharply. “We were fine.”
“Your dad feels?—“
“I know how he feels, I know how fucking bad he feels. I thought the guilt would kill him in prison. Itiskilling him, right now, just slower.”
I didn’t mean to grip her hand so tight. When I see the pain in her face, I let her fingers go.
I grip the wheel instead so my hands won’t shake.
“That’s why I’m doing what I’m doing, everything I’m doing…to show him that I’m fine, we’re fine, we’re fucking fantastic. Because if he can see we’re thriving, then he doesn’t have to keep hurting himself…”
The words tumble out too fast. My arms are rigid on the steering wheel, my whole body hard like wood, painful, tight…
“I’m not supposed to be the one taking care of everybody. I was the fuck up, the asshole. You knew me…you know what I was like.”
Theo’s soft hand touches my thigh.
The rest of me softens, too, all the parts that seemed so stiff and wooden.
