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Despite living in LA all her life, plus four years in Angus’ star-studded orbit, Theo has an adorable weakness for celebrity gossip. Her eyes go wide. “Were you mad?”
“Nah. I was doing the same thing. The way she looked in a swimsuit—I’d have to fight half the boat.”
I glance at Theo right as she looks at me, and I know we’re both remembering me dunking Angus.
She smothers a laugh with her hand, her faced flushed and lovely. The softness as her fingers drag down her lips, the way her eyes linger on me…I think the memory pleases her, and she’s even more pleased that I’m thinking of it, too.
That was the moment I first lost control—when I deviated from the plan. And I haven’t looked back since.
People tell themselves lies. Lies to explain whyI couldn’t do thisorit wasn’t my fault…
I try to look at myself honestly. Through the lens of what I actually do, not what I intend.
And if I apply that standard, it’s pretty obvious… I’ve been chasing Theo this whole time.
Plan? What fucking plan…I want her.
That day, I was the guy with the most gorgeous woman on the boat on his arm. Theo was stunning. Sheisstunning. And Angus about lost his mind realizing what he had right next to him all this time.
I’ve been laughing at him ever since.
But maybe I’m the fucking idiot.
Theo’s right here beside me, making my life what it’s never been—glowing. So what am I doing playing games?
I want to stop all of this, the pretend, the show for Angus…even the deal itself is beginning to feel tainted. If pretending to date her was to my benefit,actuallydating her should be even better, but it isn’t. I can’t toy with Theo anymore, not with the way that I feel about her. I can’t use her to bait Angus.
It’s gone way beyond distraction or sub-optimal choices.
I’m afraid.
Afraid that if I fuck this up, I might lose her.
I don’t evenhaveher right now—not really. Because of this goddamned contract.
There it is, written in ink, signed by us both—what we’re actually here for.
For me, safety and security for my family. A way to take this stinking pile of straw, this fucking property I was saddled with in a deal gone bad, and spin it into gold by selling it to Angus.
There’s my dad sitting right there, puppy on his lap, with one beautiful, precious, shining day of sobriety behind him. If he lost the house now, he’d spiral down worse than ever.
But he’s only here because of Theo. I know that in my soul.
I spent years taking care of him.
Theo made him feel again.
She put a crack in his heart with that sandwich, and then she wrenched it all the way open again. Even though he knew the pain of it could almost kill him.
She showed him the good things still here—not Mom, but dinners in the yard and sweating in the sunshine and holding something soft, that needs you, on your lap.
And maybe it was one thing Theo did or everything, or maybe it was just finally time. But no matter the reason, it wouldn’t have happened without her.
And whatever’s coming my way tomorrow, if my dad falls off the wagon, if I get hit by a bus, I want Theo here with me. Just like I want to be there for her.
I love taking care of her, God, I fucking love it. Getting what I want feels great, but getting it for her is transcendent. It takes an ordinary moment and turns it into something I know I’ll play in my head again and again like a favorite film, the light in her eyes, the look on her face, the way she turns to me…
Maybe I can have it all, Theo and the deal…
