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“I’m all the way to stunned.”
If Jessica put the same level of effort into her music as she does into being spiteful, the single playing on repeat all over the house might be tolerable instead of torturous.
She smiles like a cat, mouth curving up, green eyes wide and unblinking. “I’ve been talking to them all night long…digging up dirt on Theo Mahoney. But it’s tragic, really…half of them don’t even remember you.”
She gives me a pitying look, but there’s no pity in it, not really—just amusement and disdain.
“I can’t say I’m surprised to confirm that you were a nerdy, awkward loser. I mean, not much has changed, except that somebody’s learned to dress you better.”
Her eyes flick down to the ocean-colored dress that was one hundred percent selected and paid for by Sully. My face burns.
That’s too much for Martinique. “You know what, Jessica?—“
Jessica wheels on her with eerie speed. “You better think carefully about the next words out of your mouth. Angus is alreadythis closeto firing you the next time you show up late.“ She snaps her fingers in Martinique’s face. “So, unless you want to wear out those knock-off shoes applying for jobs, you better get your ass back to the kitchen.”
Martinique goes still, either with fear or with rage. Knowing her, it’s the latter. Her small fists are clenched at her sides, and I bet she’d like nothing more than to tell Jessica exactly what she thinks of her.
But I also know that my darling, generous, exuberant friend is fucking terrible at budgeting and tends to have five bucks left in her account at the end of the month. If she gets fired, she’ll lose her apartment. So I catch her eye and give a tiny shake of my head.
“You got it,” Martinique grits through her teeth, stomping off for the kitchens.
Jessica watches her go, soaking up Martinique’s frustration and humiliation like the world’s most fucked-up sponge. Only then does she turn her venom back on me.
She taps a long, sparkly green fingernail against her shellacked lips.
“Where were we? Oh yes…your depressingly dire high school career. It was no surprise that you were a complete nobody and even less surprising that you’ve always been pathetically broke. What was funny was how nobody seemed to remember you with Sullivan?”
Every part of me feels scoured by sandpaper, skin stripped off, exposed.
“I never said we dated back then.”
“You weren’t even friends.”
“We knew each other.”
“I don’t think so.” Her voice is low and soft, but it drags across me like claws. “I don’t think you knew him at all. I think he looked you up a couple months ago when he realized who you were working for. I think he’s using you to get close to Angus. And I think this whole thing where he pretends to bein love with youis a big fucking act, which nobody believes because look at him and look atyou…”
My eyes find Sullivan across the room, still trapped by the drunkenly rambling Angus. He’s watching me and Jessica, and he doesn’t look angry anymore…only sad.
With his face still, his eyes dark and deep, I don’t know if he’s ever looked more beautiful. Jessica’s words hiss in my ears…
“You’re a loser, Theo. You were a loser in high school, and you’re a weak, pathetic loser now. Because people don’t change, not really. Especially not people like you. He didn’t want you then, and he doesn’t want you now. He’s using you—and you’re too stupid to see it.”
It’s like she’s speaking the darkest thoughts from the ugliest, muddiest well in my brain. Everything I fear…everything I believe when I doubt myself. That I haven’t gotten stronger or smarter or braver…that I’ve only deluded myself.
With each exhale, I sink lower.
Whatever hope and happiness were inside of me die in my chest and leach out in a kind of invisible black mist that Jessica sucks in with every breath.
She’s never looked lovelier. And I’ve never hated her more.
“Just wait…” Her plastic lips curve in a hard, cruel smile. “Watch how quickly he dumps you when the deal is done.”
She walks away without a backward glance, leaving me as flimsy and empty as a crumpled paper bag.
The pounding single drills through my brain, Jessica’s robotic voice warbling,
The brightest stage where dreams are told,
