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“Well, I’ve never actually had a pedicure, so…”
“You’ve never had apedicure?”
Jessica gives me that LA Bubble look, like I’m a visitor from Planet Lame-Ass Loser. She’d be shocked to know I’ve also never taken a sound bath or put a two thousand dollar jade egg in my vagina.
“No, I haven’t. But otherwise, sure—Sullivan is super considerate.”
“That’s great!” Jessica says with the biggest, fakest smile I’ve ever seen. “That’s so sweet! So, like, I could test him right now, like the Newlywed Game?”
“Uh, I guess. But?—“
“Okay, Sullivan,” she interrupts his conversation midsentence. “What’s Theo’s birthday?”
“September twenty-fifth,” he says at once.
Thank god—for Sullivan’s memory and his research.
I don’t knowhisbirthday. But luckily, Jessica doesn’t ask. She’s too busy quizzing my fake boyfriend.
“What’s her middle name?”
“Clementine.”
Damn, he’s good.
“What kind of pizza does she like?”
Will Sullivan remember?
“Mushroom,” he says. “But she’s not against pepperoni.”
“I could have told you that,” Angus says.
He looks annoyed by this game, or maybe just competitive.
When Jessica says, “What book is Theo reading right now?” it’s Angus who shouts, “The Shining!” like he finally got his shot on Jeopardy. He’s too pleased that he got the answer right to notice the filthy glare from his girlfriend. Smirking, he tells me, “I saw it in on your desk.”
“Actually,” Sullivan says, “she finished that one last week. Now she’s reading The Silence of the Lambs.” With a slightly subtler smirk, he says, “I saw it on her nightstand.”
Now he’s created a monster. Angus is determined to prove that he knows me better than Sullivan, thanks to four years of working together twenty-four seven.
“Favorite song?” Jessica fires off.
“’Party in the U.S.A.’,” Angus guesses.
“I’d say ‘Sunflower’,” Sullivan says.
“Sullivan’s right.” I smile at him. That one’s not too hard—I’ve been playing it all week long while I’m cooking. But I’ve also played it in my office a million times, and apparently Angus never noticed.
“Mom’s name?”
“Uh…” Angus looks guilty for missing that one. As he fucking should.
“Diana,” Sullivan says.
“Dream vacation?”
Now Angus is just firing wildly. “Tokyo?”
