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“He has a name. You know that, right?”
“Yes, but Hot Cop has such a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” She laughed. “Plus, you started it.”
My eyes wandered around the living room and then toward the door, and I remembered the way Macon had tried to leave last night.
“When you’re here, it just feels… right.”
“Do you think I should feel guilty? For moving on so quickly after Curtis?” It was a question that had been on my mind a lot lately. I’d told my parents and my siblings about my breakup, but I hadn’t told them about Macon.
She took a moment before she replied. The rain started to fall, and I listened to the slow, steadytap, tap, tapagainst the window.
“I don’t think there is any rule book, Marin,” she finally said. “If there were, who the fuck cares? Would you walk away from the possibility of something amazing just because you’re worried about hurting a few feelings?”
“No,” I answered before I amended, “At least, I don’t think so.”
“You shouldn’t. Would it have been easier on everyone if you and Macon had stumbled into each other months from now? Sure. But you didn’t. You met now. And you of all people should know that life is tragically short and you never know when it’s going to end.” Her voice grew thick, and I felt mine do the same.
She never showed much emotion. She was always tough as nails.
“It’s so fast though,” I said. “What I feel for him, it feels so?—”
Intense. Overwhelming.
Fucking terrifying.
“There you go, trying to put rules on something that isn’t supposed to make sense,” she pressed. “Love is complicated and messy. But don’t walk away from a good thing because you’re scared. Run toward it, with open arms, and grab it by the fucking balls. Hell, I would.”
I let out a choked laugh, feeling my eyes brimming with tears.
Love.
Is that what this was?
My mind didn’t want to think about that right now.
“You said his name,” I said, offering up a dumb joke as a reply. Because otherwise, I was going to cry.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” I could hear the eye roll hundreds of miles away.
But I understood the assignment.
Be happy.
And don’t let anyone tell me otherwise.
* * *
By the time I got off the phone with Elena, it was nearly noon.
Time to go.
I’d been pleasantly surprised when Molly had messaged me a few days earlier and asked me to lunch.
More than pleasantly surprised. I had nearly squealed with excitement.
I had always hoped to make friends when Daniel and I moved here, but establishing myself in a brand-new place turned out to be more intimidating than I’d imagined. Dreams and fantasies were easy. Real life? That was something entirely different, and I’d quickly discovered how hard living away from home could be.
But this felt like my second chance.
