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He reached into his pocket and pulled out that velvet box I remembered from my birthday party.
I backed away, my eyes wide as I looked up at him. “Curtis, I can’t?—”
“I know,” he answered. “I don’t understand why, but I’m willing to wait.”
“I don’t want you to put your life on pause.”
A look of shock blanketed his features. “What do you mean? Are you planning on being gone that long? I thought?—”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I quit my job.”
I hadn’t had the chance to explain everything to him. He’d barely returned any of my calls.
“You what?” He looked like he’d just been slapped across the face. “But why? Why would you do something so reckless?”
“It’s not the first time,” I admitted. There was so much I’d never told him about my life—before. “I need to do this, Curtis. Did you know I used to paint?”
He shook his head.
Of course he didn’t. I’d never told him.
“It was my passion—the real reason I went to art school. And I haven’t picked up a paintbrush since I left Ocracoke. Something is pulling me back there, and I need to find out what.”
“Something or someone?” He meant Daniel.
I winced. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “Maybe I am going back to try and revive a ghost. Maybe not. All I know is, I need to go. That part of my life feels unfinished.”
“I thoughtwewere building a life?—”
“We were,” I insisted. “We are!”
“Are you sure?” he asked softly. “I want to build a life with you—something real and lasting. But, I think the thought of that scares you.”
I stared at the ring box in his hand, unsure of what to say.
“So, where does that leave us? Are you breaking up with me?”
He let out a sort of pained laugh. “Do you think I’d be holding this if I were?” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want to lose you, Marin. I still want this,” he said, his fingers brushing the green velvet. “Take the ring?—”
“I can’t?—”
“You can,” he insisted, placing it in my hand. His warm palm enclosed mine. The feel of that precious box in my hand felt all wrong—like I was unworthy of such a prize. “Take it. Put it in a dresser drawer or carry it around in your pocket. Just please take it and think about us and what you want for the future. And when you come back, you can either return it or…”
I can say yes.
He didn’t say it, but the words hung in the air between us.
I felt my eyes well up with tears as I tried to will myself to stay. To say the words he desperately wanted to hear—that he was enough, that I would marry him and share every part of myself with him.
But every molecule in my body was telling me to leave—to go back to the place where I had lost everything.
If I was going to rise from the ashes, I might as well go back to the inferno.
And so, I said a tearful good-bye to Curtis and Elena, and then I drove away.
Ready for whatever might come.
* * *
