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Conflicted in the moment, I stood in her room, watching her breathing even out as she lay sleeping. Part of me wanted to stay. Part of me didn’t want to let go of the moment. I was still shocked that she didn’t break and use her safe word, and instead held out to the very end.
But the other part of me simply had to get out of there. Which is what I did.
I shouldn’t have left without saying anything to Kylie. She’s not like the other women I sleep with. With her, it’s different. Our connection is different. Seeing her sleeping so peacefully, a tender smile on her face was almost my undoing. I actually considered calling my assistant and having my day cleared.
After last night… Well, holy fuck! I never expected her to be so passionate. So adventurous. So kinky. With some of my other lovers, I could tell they sometimes just acted out the pleasure instead of actually enjoying it. Not everyone is into bondage, and ever since seeing that painting Kylie did of herself being pleasured with her hands tied, I wondered if she was really into that sort of thing.
Now I know she is. And she enjoys the hell out of it, just like I do.
Perhaps I enjoyed it too much. That’s why I have to leave this morning before she wakes up. I know that if she crooks her little finger at me, I’ll be lost under the sheets with her again. And I can’t lose myself that way.
Besides, after I get out of the shower, I have a text from a picky client. I have an excuse to go into the office anyway to put out some fires. That’s what I tell myself as I drive through town. That’s what I tell myself when I go into my office and start working.
Kylie will get over me not saying anything this morning. She even said last night during dinner that it was no big deal if I saw other women. Hell, she’ll probably even thank me for sparing her the embarrassment of an awkward good morning the night after. Even if it was mind-blowing sex.
By mid-afternoon, the situation with the client isn’t getting any better. In fact, I have to fly to Boston to take care of it in person because the client is threatening to pull out of the deal. After arranging the flight, I scroll through my phone, my finger hovering over Kylie’s name. My first thought is to call and let her know I have to go out of town. But I don’t know what to say. Do I just say, “Hi, gotta go out of town for a bit, thanks for last night?”
With a disgusted shake of my head, I put my phone away and grab my briefcase. My flight leaves in a little over an hour, so I don’t have time to waste.
* * *
The flight is not long enough to get much work done, especially with thoughts of Kylie filling my head. My heart starts racing in my chest and it’s a little difficult to breathe. Am I having a panic attack? Why do thoughts of her cause me such anxiety?
It feels like, for the first time since I was a kid, something is opening up inside me. A part of me I’d walled off and kept locked away. Being with Kylie now, it feels like that wall is crumbling and it terrifies the fuck out of me.
The memory of watching my mom drive away that final time slams into my brain. Would Kylie leave me, too?
I shake my head at my stupid thoughts. I’m being an idiot and only thinking with my dick. It’s not really Kylie I want, it’s the idea of her. She’s something I want because I don’t have it.
Wanting what you don’t have—a generic human flaw.
That’s all there is to it, I try to convince myself as the plane lands. None of these mushy feelings are real. I don’t do relationships. I don’t do commitment. I go after whatever I want and get it. Once I’m done, it’s always easy for me to move on to bigger and better things.
But with Kylie, it’s different. I can't seem to get enough of her. I may want her in my bed, but she’s my brother’s best friend and there are way too many complications there. It’s better if I just get the hell away from her for a while until I can remember why she doesn’t belong in my life. No matter how right it seems.
While waiting to disembark from the plane, I send Kylie a message that I had to go away for business and probably won’t be back tonight. I frown as an email notification pops up. It’s from my secretary saying that the updated sketches for the development of Mrs. Kendall’s property are finally finished and that she will have them delivered first thing in the morning.
Fuck, I’d forgotten all about that.
Putting my phone away, I grab my overnight bag and briefcase and exit the plane. I wait until I’m in the limo before taking my phone out again. I need to cancel the Kendall property plans, as I promised Kylie I would, but before I can call my secretary, my phone rings. My eyebrows raise in surprise when I see Knox’s name pop up.
“What the fuck did you do?”
Knox doesn’t even wait for me to properly answer the phone before starting in on me. “Have you talked to her today?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Kylie,” he huffs out in exasperation. “She hasn’t picked up her phone all day! Kyliealwayspicks up her phone. What did you do? I know you had to have done something to hurt her.”
“Why the hell would you think that?” I bark, then suddenly remember my promise to Kylie that I would try to be nicer to my brother.
I sigh long and loudly. “Shit. Sorry, Knox. It’s been a rough day and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you. I’m out of town for an emergency meeting with a client, but I’ll check in with her.”
There’s a long pause on the other end. “Wow, okay,” Knox says. “I thought this conversation would go a bit differently.”
I smile wryly and we hang up. I immediately call Kylie but she doesn’t answer my call, either. By the time I get to the meeting, I’m still frowning. I go into the conference room and sit with the client, but I only hear about half of what he’s saying.
I’d been a total ass, leaving this morning without a word. It was the same damn thing I did to her last time, after we kissed. No wonder she won’t answer my calls.
