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“I’m working on it.” I shrug as if it’s no big deal, but I can tell by the wry smile on Dad’s face that he isn’t buying it.
“Not that I’m not happy to see you, Dante, but it’s been a long time. I don’t think you just stopped by out of the blue for a friendly chat.”
I can’t help it. I chuckle and shake my head. “You’re right,” I agree. “I’ve been doing some thinking and I realized that I may not know the whole picture of what happened that night. I have spent years looking at it from the perspective of a child, but now I’m a grown man and I really need to know.”
Dad flinches, but I continue. “Why did Mom really leave?”
He meets my gaze for a minute, then looks down with a long sigh. “We never loved each other, your mother and I,” he begins, then meets my eyes again. “Times were different back then. We were pressured by our parents to get married.”
My eyebrows rise in surprise. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
Dad nods. “Your mom got pregnant after just a one-night stand together. Our parents didn’t want the shame of your mom being a single-mother, plus they said the baby needs both parents to raise it. Thatyouneeded both parents.”
This is something I never knew. I doubt Knox knows it either. I can’t imagine my parents were forced into marriage because of me.
“Just so you know, we both wanted you very much,” Dad says as if reading my mind. “We both loved you so much and never regretted having you. I never told you about it because I didn’t want you to feel like you were an accident.”
“But I was,” I argue softly. “I wasn’t planned. But that’s not a big deal. I’m shocked, though, that your parents pressured you into marriage.”
Dad shrugs. “This is a small town. It’s how things were done, then. In fact, it’s still done sometimes here, too.”
I find that hard to believe in today’s progressive society, but then, small-town living is a whole different world.
“So, what happened?” I ask, bringing the subject back to where I want it. “Why did Mom leave like that?”
“Well, as I said, we didn’t love each other,” Dad says sadly. “Your mom, well, she started resenting her life.
“You see, she never wanted to be tied down to marriage and a family. She was a free spirit and wanted to be out exploring the world and meeting new people.”
I stare at him incredulously. “Are you saying she walked out on us—her children—because she wanted to travel?”
“I tried, Dante,” Dad says, a plea for understanding in his tone. “I tried to show her love and attention. I tried everything I could think of to make her happy, but I couldn’t stop that resentment from growing.”
He pauses to stare at me with sad eyes. “I’m so sorry she left like that. And that you had to see it. No child should have to witness a parent’s desertion.”
Emotions start to clog my throat and I have to swallow the lump that suddenly forms there. “For the longest time, I thought Mom left because we didn’t have enough money or success,” I say after a minute. “Mom always told me not to settle, to always work for more. To reach for the moon.” I scowl after saying that last bit. “It’s the last thing she told me before she left.”
Dad shakes his head. “We weren’t filthy rich, but we had everything we needed.”
“Everything you needed,” I repeat slowly. “But you could have had more, like Mom wanted. Why settle?”
“What would I do with more?” Dad gestures to a picture of me and Knox standing with Mom. It had to be taken right before she walked out. I’m surprised he still has that picture and displays it in the shop.
He looks around the shop that he's owned all of his adult life. “How could I need more than this?”
I follow his gaze and see several unfinished projects, all in varying degrees of construction. There’s a rocking chair half-finished and an entertainment center built and just waiting to be stained. A few other things are newly started and I can’t tell what they will be yet.
“But,” I say, returning my attention to him. “Everyone wants more.”
Dad raises a knowing eyebrow. “Has that ‘more’ you’ve been chasing made you happy? As happy as I am in this place, enjoying this small-town life?”
I open my mouth, but no words come out. He’s right. No matter how hard I’ve worked to always have more, I’ve never been satisfied, never been happy with my life.
Dad leans forward. “I’ll tell you a secret, son,” he says with a smile. “Not everyone wants what they don’t have. Sometimes what you have is all you’ll ever need.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
DANTE
