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Letting me control them and their bodies, maneuvering them how I wanted.
It was perfection.
Until it wasn’t.
Until I woke up hungover next to a dead girl and only the memory was of her saying no to sex with me the night before.
I left her there, her eyes still open and staring accusingly at me, and I swore at that moment I would get help. I swore I wouldn’t so much as touch my cock, much less act on my depraved desires. And I moved on, not thinking about the dead girl and what happened again.
The truth was, after that moment, I was a fucking mess. Throwing myself into all the Empire Sevens and suffocating my pasts and all the dark parts of it, I kept myself too busy to think.
But thanks to Diane Dempson and her expensive psychology degree hanging on the wall behind her, I was still a sex addict with sick and twisted desires. I was just one who didn’t act on his urges anymore. I hadn’t in six months, and while you would think I would be going fucking out of my mind, dying to stick my dick in the nearest wet hole, I was doing well.
Not great, but I was dealing.
“No issues,” I answered. “And it wasn’t a vacation. It was a business trip.”
I wouldn’t call a meeting with business partners in New York a vacation. It was still work. It was just working in a different city.
“There was no mixing business and pleasure on this trip?”
“None.”
“And what about masturbation? Are we still holding out there, as well?”
I nodded, not feeling even a shred of embarrassment. “Yes. Cold turkey is the only way.”
She scribbled in her notebook. “We’ve talked about this before. Masturbation is healthy, Zander. Don’t torture yourself any more than you need to.”
I nodded, understanding her words, but knew deep in my core the only way I would remain clean was to keep my hands off my dick.
I hadn’t been to a session with Dr. Dempson in two months. With everything I had going on at Empire Sevens, the casino and resort I was part owner of, I hadn’t had time. Thankfully, I didn’t feel like I needed a meeting, but one of Dr. Dempson’s rules was if you wanted to remain a patient of hers, you had to show your face at least once every three months.
I never followed anyone’s rules, but I trusted her, so I went along with what she required of me.
So instead of getting off the plane and going straight home to my penthouse suite at Empire Sevens and doing something like relaxing, I took a car to visit my shrink and then shopped for new real estate since Kade and I were considering opening another casino on the opposite side of The Strip.
I had been away from Empire Sevens for over a week, and already, the urge to jump back into work was beating against my back. It was my way of staying in control. If I was working, I wasn’t thinking about how badly I wanted to sink my cock into one of our patrons.
I wasn’t thinking about her and her dead eyes.
Some people used prescription meds and alcohol.
Some people used illegal drugs or cooked cleaning supplies.
I used work.
It was the healthier alternative.
And when I wasn’t working on the business, I was working on my body. I had a gym put in my penthouse six months ago; another thing that contributed to my healing process.
Sex addiction was no fucking joke, and I would do whatever it took to keep myself straight.
As the sun moved behind the buildings on the Vegas Strip, I had the driver take me home. I welcomed the sight of Empire Sevens, knowing my bed was on the top floor awaiting me. Also, I was excited to get back to work in the morning.
Technically, Kade and I didn’t need to work anymore. Things ran themselves, and anything that didn’t run itself was handled by our operations manager, Kennedy. That still didn’t keep me from watching our patrons toss their money on the tables and into the machines on the casino floor.
Nine years earlier, I had been penniless and starving on the streets of Vegas with a little sister to take care of. She was the reason I turned to the dark side. I would do anything for my sister. So when she was caught stealing bananas from the grocery store, I decided it was time I stepped up and took care of business.
