Page 126 of Dirty Saint


Font Size:  

“I’ve been better,” I answered truthfully.

There was no need to lie. I wasn’t handling the death of my sister well, and everyone around me knew it. I was a ghost in their house, haunting Koah’s room, only leaving for the bathroom and to wash away my pain in the shower. It wasn’t something I could help. My heart would never heal.

He nodded. “I won’t pretend I understand, but it must suck to feel loss. To feel anything, really.”

I didn’t know how to respond. I had a feeling Joker couldn’t feel anything, and finally, he admitted to that. At the moment, not feeling sounded pretty damn good. Anything to take away the pain and grief of losing my sister, but at the same time, losing feelings meant no more love. No more feeling the rush of riding behind Koah on his motorcycle. No more anticipation. Joker wasn’t fully living if he couldn’t fully feel.

I stood before the cold refrigerator, staring at him in shock. He had never seemed human before. He was a cold machine, unfeeling and unloving, but something in his eyes was different when he looked at me. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but it looked like respect.

He leaned against the wall, crossing his muscular arms. “Why would you jump in front of a bullet for me?”

I swallowed, my throat as dry as sandpaper. “You’re Koah’s best friend.”

His icy eyes scanned my face, making me feel exposed. “But what’s that have to do with you?”

“It has everything to do with me. Koah owns my heart. I love him, and he loves you. Losing you would destroy him. I couldn’t let that happen.”

He flinched at the word love as if it caused him physical pain.

“What about if he had lost you? Don’t you think that would destroy him, too?”

I nodded, his words making sense, but if I had to do that night over again, I would. Minus putting Gracie on that motorcycle, I would done anything to save Joker for Koah.

I didn’t say anything, but somehow, I knew he knew what I was thinking.

“You know the truth about everything now.”

“I do.”

Koah had given me every detail during one of our late-night talks.

“And you’re okay with how things went down?” He raised a brow.

“I’m not, but I understand you guys did what you had to do. My heart breaks for Koah. If I had known my father was hurting him, I would have put a stop to it. I promise you that, Zayne.”

His eyes widened. “Haven’t heard that name in a long time.”

“I know, but it’s your name, right?”

He nodded. “It’s my name, but it’s not who I am anymore.”

He moved away from the wall and began to walk around me, the conversation over.

“Wait,” I called out, stopping him. He turned around and faced me again. “Donald’s gone, right?”

I had an idea of what happened once I got shot, but I didn’t know the details, and I could never bring myself to ask.

He nodded, the side of his mouth lifting in satisfaction. “Oh yeah.”

Alarms went off. If I was in Joker’s arms after the shooting, then it had to have been Koah who had taken Donald out.

“Will Koah go to prison?” My words were panicked.

I couldn’t lose Koah. He was all I had left.

Joker chuckled and shook his head. “Don’t you know who we are, Tori?”

It wasn’t a direct answer, but I would take it.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
Articles you may like