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“You don’t need to explain yourself. You’re adults, right?”
“But… Magnus? He’s so…” I couldn’t come up with the right thing to say. “He’s so not the guy who goes for a girl like me.”
“It seems like you are the girl he goes for because you are the girl he’s gone for.” Pepper seemed to have the whole thing summed up easily for someone so young. Maybe a little too easily. I wanted to believe. I really did, but deep down, I knew better.
“Just for now. I know there’s no future in it.”
“Even if there isn’t, it’s obvious you’re enjoying yourself, and there’s nothing wrong with that.” Olivia wore a thoughtful expression as she carefully chose her next piece of sushi. “You know, he needs a good woman like you.”
“Let’s not talk about this like it’s the real deal, you know? It’s just for now, like I said. I don’t want to have any expectations.” Yet, as I let the words spill from my mouth, I knew I was lying to myself.
“Even if it is just a casual thing, my point stands. He needed to be reminded there are good, quality women out there,” Olivia said with a defiant nod.
Pepper’s head bobbed. “For real. Leila really messed him up, even if he would never admit it.”
“For what it’s worth,” Olivia added, “from what I understand, he is not the type to sleep with the same woman more than once. He keeps it casual, one-night stands. But that’s not how it’s been for you two, is it?”
“No,” I admitted before blushing like crazy. “It’s been more than that.”
“I bet it’s amazing.” When I gasped in shock, Pepper shrugged. “Please. I’m not saying it’s not amazing with Connor because it is and always has been. But there’s a reason the hunkholes were all so successful with women.” Her eyebrows moved up and down suggestively.
“He… knows what he’s doing. Let’s put it that way.” I was having ‘girl talk.’ For the first time in my life, I was gossiping about sex with my girlfriends. Who was I? Was this really my life?
“Don’t worry about it, hun,” Pepper assured me. “Your secret is safe. Overbearing brothers are the worst.”
“He’s done a lot for me,” I remind them quietly. “I don’t want him to think I’m betraying him somehow.”
Pepper shrugged. “He wouldn’t think that.”
“At least, not about you,” Olivia added. When Pepper shot her a sharp look, she shrugged. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. He would probably be pissed at Magnus before he finally calmed down and saw reason.”
“It doesn’t matter either way. Once Barrett comes back and sees I made it through surgery, I’m going home. This thing with Magnus is over.” The girls exchanged a glance but said nothing. Not that they had to. I could read what was in their eyes. They didn’t believe me.
The thing was, I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t want us to be over, even if I knew that was the way it needed to be. It was never going to turn out any other way. How could it? Real life would come knocking and soon. No amount of wishful thinking could make it otherwise.
Even if the idea of saying goodbye was enough to make my heart ache. I had been through enough heartache. That, I knew how to deal with.
18
MAGNUS
“Good to see you, man. You’ve been like a fucking ghost all week.” Connor sat back with his drink, grinning at me. “We were starting to wonder about you.”
“What, like I didn’t see enough of your faces in the Hamptons? Sue a guy for wanting a little downtime.”
“So that’s all it was?”
“What else would it have been?” I snapped, probably harsher than I should have if I was trying to avoid their suspicion.
“Don’t get defensive. Fuck. We’re just busting your balls, man.” Ari signaled for fresh drinks, then raised his voice again to be heard over the pounding music in the club. “We figured you were hiding out, actually.”
My gaze bounced back and forth between my two friends. “Clue me in.”
Ari looked like he wished he hadn’t said anything, but it was too late. “I heard somebody you used to be married to has been sneaking around, trying to get your attention.”
Immediately, my hackles went up. “What are you talking about?”
“She’s been asking around, wondering if you were seeing anybody.” Connor waved a hand, snorting. “I mean, she’s out of her goddamn mind.”
