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“Those don’t knock you out?” she asked.
“Nah. And I don’t always take them. Half the time I give them away. But sometimes, I just get kind of worked up. Panic, maybe.” She swallowed the pill and then glanced at Lenna. “You asked about my mom. She waswaydifferent than yours was.”
“How so?” Lenna asked tentatively, trying to be sensitive.
Rhiannon stared into her lap. There was a thin string stuck to her sleeve. Lenna resisted the urge to pull it off. “When I was little, my mom loaded me and my brother into the car and…well, she got into this accident and our car drove off a bridge.”
The can of Sprite that Lenna was holding slipped a little in her grip.“What?”
“It was fine. Well.Iwas fine. Someone pulled me out. I remember waking up in the hospital, later, and a social worker—I guess that’s who she was—telling me that my brother didn’t make it. They’d taken my mom away. People were saying she’d done it on purpose.”
Lenna’s hand was clamped over her mouth. “Jesus. That’s awful. I’m sorry.”
“Thanks.” Rhiannon sighed. “The news wrote their opinions about my mom’s mental state. People couldn’t understand how a mother could do that to her children. Everyone tried to keep me from hearing any of it, but when I was older, I went through this phase where I searched forallof it. You can find anything, if you go looking.”
“I would have done that, too, if I were you.”
“Anyway.” Rhiannon tossed the wrapper into the trash. “You asked me about kids, too. It’s why I don’t want them. I just…I would worry, every day,What if I’m just like her? What if it’s inside me? What if I would do that, too?”
“But you wouldn’t. You’d know the warning signs.”
Rhiannon shrugged. “What if I didn’t?”
Lenna thought of the little girl in the store. The frazzled mother. How Rhiannon had stepped forward and given her a respite. “It must have been hard without a mom.”
“My dad did his best, I guess.” Rhiannon sighed again. “He was a drinker, and it certainly didn’t get better afterward, but he always treated me okay. And he’s sober now, so that’s good.”
“He must have been so broken. Having lost your brother…”
“Mm-hmm.” Rhiannon touched a gold locket under her sweater. “I still wear this in honor of him. Got it for my birthday when he was still alive—apparently, he helped my mom pick it out.”
“I’m so sorry.” Lenna took a breath. “Do you still see your mom?” she asked.
Rhiannon scoffed. “No fucking way. Would you?”
A low-slung exotic car purred at the light. Lenna rubbed her eyes, trying to imagine the trauma of going through such an event. Of course it would shape you for life. Of course you’d cut your mother off. That kind of mother, anyway.
“You didn’t have to explain the no-kids thing to me,” Lenna said softly. “I shouldn’t have asked in the first place.”
“How would you know? And lots of people ask after they see how good I am with them,” Rhiannon said. “Especially if they don’t know. Most people don’t, and I don’t tell them.” Her gaze cut to Lenna. “I hope you’re okay that I shared this.”
“Of course,” Lenna said quickly. And she was okay about it.Touched,actually. “The work-life farm,” she then remembered. “That’s why you want to go? The…family thing?”Because you didn’t have one?
Rhiannon looked thoughtful, as though this hadn’t occurred to her. “Yeah. Maybe. You could be right.” She turned so that she was facing Lenna head-on. Her eyes were full of remorse. “Listen, I have to tell you something. Rich filled the gossip writer position yesterday.”
“Oh.” Lenna’s heart sank. “Then…why am I here?”
“Well, when I say I have someone’s back, I mean it. And listen—there’s another position available. It’s not as glamorous—just a copy editor. It doesn’t pay as well, but I think you could do it. Plus, we could work together.” Rhiannon’s eyes softened. “I’d really like that.”
“A copy editor,” Lenna repeated, thinking.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sure you’re qualified.”
Actually, Lenna agreed. It was certainly less flashy, more suited to her introverted ways. It probably wouldn’t be that much fun, but it was this—sitting in the sun on this touristy street, a friend telling her things,making her feel needed—that she really craved, anyway.
She said she’d interview. Rhiannon grinned. “Let’s go up and talk to Rich, then.”
As they turned to leave, someone shifted on a nearby bench. When Lenna glanced over, she realized with a double take that it was that woman from the Sofitel. The one Rhiannon had seen and turned away from. Now, she walked toward them, a bounce in her step. Rhiannon’s smile dimmed.
