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But she wants to find Rhiannon. And tell her—what? How much she missed her? How glad she is that they’re reconnecting?
She rises and stumbles into the house, giggling. When was she last this tipsy? The hall is empty. Dark. Cool. Very, very quiet.
Then she hears whispers from the main room.
“She’s here. Yes. This morning. But I’m not sure she’s going to stay.”And“I know that. I’ll do everything I can. I know we have an agreement. But it doesn’t feel right.”
Lenna holds on to the wall for support. Rhiannon?
And then she sees her, in silhouette, her head tilted to one side, talking to someone. “…It’s just,” Rhiannon goes on.“She…”
Lenna’s skin prickles. She can’t hear another voice. Is Rhiannon on the phone, or is she speaking to someone just out of view? Then, when Lenna steps back, she bumps right into a small table, knocking it noisily against the wall.
Rhiannon spins around, her eyes wide. “Oh. Hey!” Her smile is twitchy. She isn’t, Lenna notes, holding a phone. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Lenna swallows hard. “Were you, um, talking to someone just now?” Rhiannon’s words echo in her mind.It doesn’t feel right.
“Me?” Rhiannon shakes her head. “Nope. Just came in to use the bathroom. Why aren’t you outside? Feeling okay? Do you want me to make you some tea?”
“I just didn’t know where you were.” The words spill out of Lenna’s mouth almost in a sob, her good mood from earlier switching to anxiety and distrust. And then, before she can stop herself, she blurts, “What led you to this place, Rhiannon? I just don’t get it.”
She feels Rhiannon go still. Then she steps forward. Her arms stretch toward Lenna. “Does it matter?”
“I just…I don’t…you leaving…”
“Shhh,” Rhiannon whispers, pulling her close. “I know you have questions. It’s okay. We’ll talk. We’ll talk about all of it. Just not now.”
And then she laces her arm through the crook of Lenna’s elbow, just like she used to when they were both a little too drunk to walk on their own, and they head back outdoors.
10
Lenna
June–July
Two years before
Gillian waited for Lenna outside the yoga studio. It was nice to have someone waiting, Lenna admitted to herself, but at the same time, Gillian wasn’t Rhiannon.
Gillian brightened when she saw Lenna, and she held the door as they went inside, chattering about a work meeting she’d had to duck out from a little early to make the session. “My boss, Cordelia, wouldn’t stop talking,” Gillian said, rolling her eyes. “You heard her at the party, right?”
“What party?”
“The one at the bar where I fixed your shoe. God, Cordelia made a total fool out of herself. Went on and on, complaining about the shitty workers doing her eighty-thousand-dollar kitchen remodel—such a privileged Karen.”
Lenna paused in pulling off a sock. “I thought it was just aCity Gossipparty.”
Gillian cocked her head, her bangs falling into her eyes. “Thenwhy would I have gone?” She laughed self-consciously. “With my anxieties, I would never go somewhere I wasn’t invited. The party was for all the magazines.Wellness,too.”
Ah. Rhiannon had it wrong, then. “So that’s where you work?Wellness?”
“Yeah. I’m in editorial.”
“It’s a magazine about health, I guess?”
“I know, real original name, right? It’s a little triggering—I mean, some of the articles are thinly veiled odes to disordered eating. Not that I write those.”
“You get to write?”
