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“Get her to unblock me…or I’ll tell Sadie.”
Gillian cocked her head. “Tell Sadiewhat?”
“How you werehappywhen her IVF failed. And…and that thing you said about the meds, too. About something beingwrongwith them.” Fear struck her. “Oh God, you tampered with her medicine, didn’t you?Youmade that treatment fail.”
Gillian’s eyes blazed. “Of course not!”
But Lenna didn’t believe that. “I’ll tell Sadie.” Lenna held up her phone. “I’ll tell her everything. Unless you get Rhiannon to unblock me.”
A beat passed. Finally, Gillian sighed. “Fine.” She reached out and took Lenna’s phone.
Lenna breathed out. “Thank you.”
But in the next moment, the phone slipped from Gillian’s fingers…accidentally, perhaps, but probably on purpose. It flipped once, twice, banging against the guardrail. Time moved achingly slow. Lenna watched helplessly as the phone disappeared into the canyon. Even Gillian’s eyes widened like she hadn’t expected that to happen.
“Fuck!” Lenna cried, hurrying over to the railing. The light was so dim, but she swore she could see her device careening over the rock. “Gillian, what the hell?” She ran to the edge, her feet sliding on the wet ground. She felt someone tugging her shirt from behind, and Gillian pulled her backward. Lenna’s whole body tensed. Letting out a wail, only wanting to be free from Gillian’s grip, she elbowed her hard in the stomach.
“You bitch!” Gillian cried. “I was trying to save you from falling!” She stood, lip quivering. “You don’t care about me at all, do you?”
And then Gillian leapt on her. Lenna wasn’t sure what was happening, only that the other woman had grabbed her and was holding her waist. Lenna gasped. Her feet slipped on wet leaves on the path. She kicked to get away from Gillian. Clawed. But Gillian was stronger. She was edging Lenna toward the canyon’s edge.
Lenna didn’t know what to do, but she needed to save herself. She sank her teeth into Gillian’s shoulder. Gillian reared back, her fingers releasing their grip. Lenna fell to the concrete hard on her hip, the back of her head knocking against the guardrail. When she looked up, Gillian was on her feet again, coming toward her, her fingers outstretched, her eyes mad.
And then—it got blurry here, but Lenna found herself on her feet, ducking out of Gillian’s lunge, but she leapt, the weight of her body pressed against Lenna’s back, her arms around Lenna’s throat. Lenna screamed. She tried to shake Gillian off, but Gillian was too heavy. Finally, with all her might, Lenna sort of lunged to the side, flinging Gillian into the guardrail. That’s what she told herself, anyway, afterward, when she put it all together—she was just trying to get Gillianoffher, and that was all. But then she saw Gillian’s feet skidding in the wrong direction, and the top half of her tilted forward, her balance lost. The canyon howled. Gillian howled, too. Lenna was so overwhelmed and disoriented, and her legs suddenly went numb.
And then, everything was black.
The next thing she knew, she was lying on a bench. She wasn’t sure how she’d gotten there. She was soaked through, and her head was pounding, and she was alone. It took her a moment torealize where she was. Runyon Canyon. At the trail entrance near Gillian’s house. Low clouds hung over the city, obscuring the view.
It was daytime, but no one was hiking because of the rain. How had she slept through this? Lenna stared into the canyon. Brown mud. Rock. She remembered Gillian throwing her phone over the side.Fuck.
And where was Gillian? She sort of remembered fighting with her, but the details were blurry, and eventually, everything faded out entirely, and her memory was a black hole. Had Gillian tossed her phone into the canyon, or did she dream that? She felt in her pockets. Her phone really was gone. She glanced down the ravine.
She trudged from the trail to her car, grateful it hadn’t been towed, grateful, too, that her keys were still in the zipped pocket of her jacket. She felt like some primordial creature that had crawled out of a swamp. It was three hours since she’d left, but it felt like days. Something had happened between then and now, something she didn’t understand.
Later, she didn’t remember actually driving home or unlocking her front door. The next memory was of how badly her fingers were shaking as she turned on the taps for the shower. As the spray hit her, more details from the night before started to come back. The incident with Gillian was like a fever dream—she couldn’t imagine having fought with her like that, except what else would explain her muddy, soaked-through clothes? What were these scratches on her arms? And the argument—when what was said returned to Lenna’s mind, she winced in disgust. It was sickening that Gillian had access to her phone. She’d read every single text Lenna wrote…forwhat? She felt so violated. It made her hate herself, too—because she’d trusted Gillian, maybe more than she’d even trusted Rhiannon.
And how did they leave things? It felt like something happened. The detail crouched in her memory in shadow, teasingly out of reach. She couldn’t grab on to the details.
Speaking of Rhiannon, Lenna still had her old friend’s number written down. She could call it with a new phone number, she supposed, and straighten everything out herself. As much as she didn’t want to make herself the victim, maybe she could explain that Gillian tricked her and lied about things Rhiannon said and did. (Orwerethey lies? Lenna’s mind went in circles. She didn’t know what to believe.) But she was too chilled and shaky to do anything. She checked the emails on her laptop, marveling over the fact that she couldn’t tell that Gillian had evenlookedat her Gmail account. It was eerie. Were people just doing this all the time? It made her feel like she was in a bad movie.
She felt fluish, her skin hot and then cold. It was like someone had slipped her something. She slept most of the afternoon, her dreams spiked with restlessness.
The next morning, a local news alert popped up on her computer as she woke.Runyon Canyon Accident.She blinked at the screen, unsure of what she was seeing. Then she read the words. Police were speculating that the day before, a woman had fallen into Runyon Canyon. Her name was Gillian Winters.
Lenna’s knees went out from under her.
She made herself read the story. Gillian’s roommate, Sadie, had reported her missing yesterday evening. The location of the home where she lived was mentioned. Then, early this morning, a jogger farther down the trail found a woman’s down vest snagged on a twig over the canyon’s edge. Gillian’s name and address were inscribed on the tag.
Lenna’s hand flew to her throat. This was impossible. Was this…was this because of their fight? She searched,scrapedher memory for some sort of evidence, but there wasn’t any.
She couldn’t have done something to Gillian, could she? There was no way. She wouldn’t.
But shedid.She could feel it, almost see it. They were fighting.Lenna was scrambling to get away. And she was angry.Soangry. She could see her arms pushing, maybe, and Gillian tumbling over the side. It was possible, and she’d blocked it out because it was too terrible to face head-on.
Horror struck her. What if someone found Lenna’s phone? Or what if someone saw them arguing, or ID’d Lenna’s car? Those links would be far too clean. She’d be a suspect for sure. The police would connect them because they both worked in the same building. Someone would know they were friends—Sadie, who’d reported Gillian missing. And Lenna was writing astoryfor Gillian. They’d talk to Gillian’s editors.
A strange mix of feelings rose in her throat. Her feelings sickened her—on one hand, she was relieved Gillian was gone, because it meant Lenna wouldn’t have to face her ever again. On the other hand, maybe with her socially awkward ways, Gillian truly thought she was doing agoodthing, saving Lenna from Rhiannon. Gillian was always talking about how she was a work in progress, navigating the world of social experiences because they didn’t come innately, and that even missteps were learning opportunities. Gillian could have learned alotfrom this situation.
