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Sera decides to deal with her epiphany that she cares about Ash like she does everything else—by not dealing with it at all.
Talking to Ash later, she tells him about Nektas’s eyes flashing blue earlier, and finds out that all the draken had blue eyes until Kolis did what he did. After, they turned red. However, Nektas’s changing color may mean that Sera is closer to her Ascension than they realize.
Sera decides that Ash doesn’t need to know how she feels about him. She knows he cares about her, though she thinks the way she feels might be more. Could it be love?
They leave for the Pools of Divanash, and Nyktos shows her the poppies growing in the Red Woods. As they near the Pillars, Sera’s embers vibrate, and she sees the souls of the departed. Ash tells her about Eythos’s struggles being near the Pillars as the Primal of Death and asks if she feels the need to use the embers or if it wears on her. She lies and tells him no.
He reminds her that she’s stronger than she thinks—her, not the embers—and tells her to see if she can glean anything about the souls. She tries but then stops, deciding she doesn’t need to since the embers will be back in Nyktos soon. Still, they throb within her.
They come upon the riders, and the three bow to her. When they finally reach their destination, Ash tells Nektas to watch out for her because she’s important to him. Again, her, not the embers. Unable to help herself, she blurts out to Ash that she wants to be his Consort. He kisses her knuckles and palm and tells her he’ll be waiting for her when she returns.
Nektas and Sera enter the Vale. She confirms to the draken that she meant what she said at the crossroads: she cares about Ash. She also tells him that if she’d been able to kill Nyktos, Nektas wouldn’t have had to kill her because she would have done it herself. He says that if that’s true, he’s even more right than he thought. He expounds by saying how Ash could have messed him up in the Dying Woods after she blasted him, but he stopped himself because he cares for her. She admits that she knows he does.
The draken tells Sera that Ash had his kardia removed not so he didn’t become like his father but so he didn’t become like his uncle. Nektas implies that he thinks she loves Nyktos, and she quickly says she doesn’t, insisting she doesn’t even know what love feels like.
After encountering the Shroud and resisting the sirens’ song, they finally reach the Pools. Nektas explains what to do—she needs to reveal a deep secret. Her truth is to confess that she tried to take her life. The Pools accept her sacrifice, and she sees Delfai with Kayleigh Balfour in Irelone.
Once they’re out of the Vale, Nektas insists she can talk to him if she’s ever not okay. If she does, he’ll make sure she is.
That draken can be surly, but he, like his bonded Primal, has a heart of gold.
He halts her on their journey and says they’re about to have company, warning her not to strike first. He tells her about the nymphs, and they end up fighting them. Fury explodes from Sera, and she winds up killing them with her eather—the kind that only the Primal of Life can wield. The type that can kill another Primal.
I can only imagine hearing that made Sera wish she could kill Kolis instead of entombing him.
When they return to the House of Haides, Sera sees Veses straddling Ash and feeding from him. She flees to the pool room underground, her anger shaking the palace. Roots wrap around her in a protective gesture. Ash tries to calm her, reminding her of her breathing exercises, but he’s finally forced to compel her into falling asleep.
Sera wakes naked in Ash’s room with Bele and Rhain, shocking Rhain a bit. He tells her she’s powerful and says he’s never seen anything like what she did—not even from a Primal in their Culling. She finds out she was in stasis for three days and that it could have been weeks. She could have even died. When she asks about the roots, she finds out they were trying to protect her. Rhain goes on to tell her that if she loses it like that again, she might not wake up. They explain what she needs to do to keep herself strong.
She learns where Ash is, and the gods tell her he was worried about her. She goes to her room and decides there will be no more physical contact with Ash. She’ll stay in her quarters and use her bathing chamber despite the bad memories there. Somehow, she needs to create distance between them, and she wants her own future.
Sera requests bath water and actually bathes in her tub. After, Bele wants to know what happened before the events in the pool chamber and reveals that she knew Veses was in the palace. She goes on to say that she thought the Primal’s visits would stop and tells Sera that Nyktos has never acted the way he does with Sera before—and it’s not just because of the embers.
Bele tells Sera that he verbally slayed them after his bravery speech and adds that she’s seen Veses feed from Nyktos before but has never seen them having sex. She explains that sex doesn’t always happen with feeding and tries to reassure Sera that Nyktos doesn’t trust or even like Veses.
Sera’s not quite so sure. Seeing is believing, after all.
Ash comes to see Sera and apologizes for what she thinks she saw. She reminds him that it happened only hours after she told him she wanted to be his Consort but refuses to admit that she’s hurt. She does lash out and snap that his claim of virginity was a lie, though. Trying to get to the bottom of it, she asks him what she saw, and he tells her it’s complicated. She finally admits that it hurt her feelings and breaks off their pleasure deal, stating she wants to be free of him completely once the embers are out of her.
Later, she goes to talk to him about Irelone and is super polite—not like herself at all. She figures Nektas can go to see Delfai with her, but Ash says he will go so he can hear what is said about removing the embers. She states that she wants to leave immediately, and he asks her to wait because there have been sightings of Kyn’s draken near.
Finally, he comments that he doesn’t like how she’s become: how she was trained to be—empty and blank. He tells her to be herself and accepts the blame for what happened, pleading with her not to change. She admits that she doesn’t want to be like she is now, but she won’t allow herself to feel like that again.
Self-preservation is a slippery slope.
The summons comes, and Sera realizes she could be kept in Dalos. She worries that Kolis will be able to sense the embers in her and is told how him sensing anything can be explained away—she has taken a lot of Ash’s blood. When she asks how nice they’ll have to be to the false Primal, Rhain tells her to do anything and everything Kolis orders her to do, adding that Nyktos can only refuse a few things on her behalf.
Sera refuses to be a part of whatever Kolis does in retaliation for Ash not answering the summons in a timely manner and insists they should go soon. He tries to say she’s more important, and she cuts him off. Reaver sticks up for her with Nyktos, and it delights Sera. Though she is surprised to hear that he’s protecting her from Ash.
Once again, she refuses to do anything until they answer the summons. He capitulates, and they make plans to leave for Dalos in an hour. Sera changes, and Aios asks her if she’ll go after Kolis. Sera opens up to the goddess about Sotoria and her being Kolis’s graeca. She explains that killing Kolis is her destiny. Being Nyktos’s Consort never was.
Aios asks her why it can’t be both, then tells Sera about her time in Dalos as one of Kolis’s favorites. Sera can’t believe what she’s hearing and apologizes, telling Aios how strong she is. The goddess tells her that Kolis is incapable of love, even for his graeca. Which means…he has no weakness.
Sera doesn’t believe that can be true of anyone. When she meets up with Ash, he tells her she’s beautiful, and she tells him not to say that. He explains that they’ll have to act as they did with Attes while in Dalos—as if they can’t get enough of each other. All that manages to do is irritate Sera because she can’t believe he doesn’t get that she was never pretending. She tells him it’s too late for that, and he asks why she even wanted that from him to begin with.
She confesses that she wants a life and a future and won’t try anything with Kolis. Though she does worry that he will recognize her and try to claim her. She’s reminded that she doesn’t belong to anyone. Nyktos says he will protect her, but Kolis could try to keep her. Ash says he’ll level Dalos and leave it in ruins before he lets that happen. She begs him not to intervene if Kolis recognizes her as Sotoria, and he snarls that the embers aren’t the only important thing. She is.
Sera asks Ash what she should expect and learns that the ink on his skin is a collection of one hundred and ten tattooed drops of blood signifying the things Kolis demanded of Ash. He reminds her again that she’s good, no matter what happens, saying she’s not a monster now nor will she be when they return. He holds her close and kisses her forehead as they shadowstep.
