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Gideon didn’t believe he was worth saving—he was too far gone for that. But as he stared back at Nicolas, he wondered if it was possible to believe inthisman. To trust whatever Nicolas saw when he peered beyond the broken mess other people couldn’t see past as they looked at Gideon.
Maybe he could replace the voice in his head—the one that said he wasworthless,disgusting,better off dead—with Nicolas’s voice.
So that’s what he did.
He used this man’s belief in him like a crutch. It took months. But, little by little, Nicolas’s faith in Gideon became indistinct from his own. Soon, Gideon stopped letting his opponents beat him into oblivion. He started getting back up and hitting back harder and better. He started believing thatjust maybethere was something worth fighting for.
“I take your point about infringing on their liberties,” saidNicolas, breaking through Gideon’s thoughts as they strode through the west wing of the palace, down its gaslit halls, and toward the throne room. Soldiers strode ahead and behind them, guarding the Commander. “A good leader cares deeply about those he’s responsible for. Again and again, you’ve shown yourself to be that kind of leader.”
Surprised by the praise, Gideon’s chest swelled.
“Sadly, though, people don’t always know what’s best for them. Sometimes they need us to step in and protect them from themselves.”
Gideon couldn’t exactly disagree with this. If Nicolas hadn’t intervened in his own life two years ago, he’d still be lying on the floor of the boxing ring wishing he were dead.
Maybe he’d evenbedead.
“A good leader is brave enough to make the hard choices others don’t want to make,” continued Nicolas. “He does it for the sake of the good. He does it to protect the innocent. This is his duty.”
“I agree.”
But Gideon also remembered Rune allowing Penitents to use her footpaths. In a choice between mercy and punishment, Rune chose mercy. What if Gideon could do the same? Perhaps there was a way to find and arrest Cressida without violating the rights of everyday citizens. Without making them live in fear of the Blood Guard.
Heading for the Commons, where the Tribunal met, Nicolas exited the hall and entered the throne room.
Gideon followed him in.
The throne room was darker than the lamplit halls, and their footsteps boomed through the empty space. Night darkened the stained-glass windows. The gilded pillars cast long shadows over the agate floors.
Three black thrones loomed in the distance. At the sight of them, a chill gripped the back of Gideon’s neck, squeezing like an icy hand.
That they were empty should have relieved him. The sight should have felt like a triumph over evil. Instead, it felt more like an absence longing to be filled. As if this room—those thrones—were waiting for their queens to return.
Gideon wanted to quicken his pace, to put the feeling behind him. But Nicolas stopped before the three seats of power, staring directly at them.
“The curfews, the raids, the interrogations—these are emergency measures. In an emergency, individual rights must sometimes be set aside until the danger has passed. You need to balance both things on the scales, Gideon: on one side is the temporary violation of rights to keep people safe; on the other is the very permanent possibility that Cressida Roseblood retakes her throne and exacts her revenge on us all.”
He turned to face Gideon. “Which is worse, in the long run?”
It wasn’t a question. Of course Cressida was worse.
Gideon studied his mentor. They were roughly the same height, and though Nicolas had a leaner build than Gideon, he was muscular. A fighter. Gideon wasn’t sure who would win in a boxing match these days.
Nicolas gripped Gideon’s shoulder. “I’m proud of the man you’ve become, and I trust your judgment. The choice is yours to make. Just remember: a great leader weighs the consequences of every decision, and must bear the weight of those consequences. So ask yourself: which consequences can you live with?”
Letting go, Nicolas rolled his shoulders as he glanced back at the thrones. As if the same icy hand gripped him, too, and he wanted to shake it off.
“Think it through,” he said, turning to leave. “Then let me know your decision.”
Gideon stared at the empty thrones.
They were a stark reminder of all he had fought for. If he didn’t act swiftly, if he couldn’t find Cressida and put down her uprising before it grew wings, he would lose everything that mattered: his freedom, along with his ability to protect the vulnerable.
People would suffer worse than before, because Cressida was a vengeful creature, and her vengeance on the Republic would be ruthless. Laila and Harrow. Alex. Rune.They were all at risk.
Rune isn’t bound by the same duty I am,he thought, remembering her kindness to the Penitents.She can afford to show mercy.
Gideon couldn’t. Gideon needed to keep people safe from evil. He had to stop Cressida at all costs.
