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Holding her horrified gaze, I state, “I told you what would happen if you ran, little bird. You should know, I don’t make idle threats. And I always keep my promises.” I drop her face and I turn away.
Striding out of the room, I leave her chained to the wall on top of a tarp I’ve secured to the floor.
Chapter 18
Paige
I don’t know how long I've been chained up in Mick’s bedroom. He keeps the curtains closed and doesn’t sleep in here. The food and water he brings me are always sporadic and never hint at the time of day.
I spent a long time crying, screaming and calling him every name I could think of and making up new ones when I ran out of ammunition. My fists ache from pounding on the wall and my nails are ripped apart from trying to pry open the metal cuffs. He gave me enough slack in the chain that I can lay down and stretch but not much more than that.
At first, I didn’t understand why he had attached a tarp to the floor below me. It wasn’t until I had sobbed for him to let me use the restroom during one of his brief visits that I realized. He had just stood there and arched an eyebrow at me, not saying a word as I repeatedly begged. The realization slammed into me and I was filled with horror.
He had warned me I would have to live in my own filth, and he intended on fulfilling that threat, just like all the others.
I had stared at him, opening and closing my mouth, silenced by the lack of basic human decency this man possessed. Mick just smirked at me and turned around to leave the room. Screeching at him, I chucked the glass full of water at his head, screaming louder when I missed and it shattered against the wall. He didn’t get me a replacement glass that day, or night, I’m not sure which. Either way, by the time he came with something for me to drink, I snatched it out of his hand and quickly guzzled it down.
I lasted as long as I could without having to relieve myself. When my body wouldn’t allow me to put it off any longer, I tried to get as far away as the chains allowed before squatting and pissing on the tarp. I cried the entire time and didn’t stop crying until I fell asleep.
I can’t say I’ve gotten used to my bed and bathroom being the same small space, but the part of me that revolts against my new reality has died. A lot of me has died during my time in captivity. I’ve spent hours contemplating ways out of this situation and have resigned to the fact that there are only two solutions, each one just as horrible as the other.
I’ve never thought of taking my own life before but the life Mick has forced me into has me imagining all the ways I can end this torment. Grimly, I acknowledge to myself it’s either that or give myself to him entirely and beg for his forgiveness. My stomach rolls and threatens to purge the small amount of food I’ve been given at the thought of allowing him to touch me again willingly.
My only small solace is Mick has not been interested in fucking me again since chaining me up. Not that I’m not surprised. I’m more animal than human now. But I know it will happen.
The only question is, will I let it happen, or will I push him until he ends this.
Ends me.
My awareness returns before I’m able to move. I can hear someone softly murmuring and brushing the hair back from my face. For a brief, blissful moment, I forget where I am. Then everything comes crashing back into me and I flinch away from the hand.
Opening my eyes, I see Mick peering down at me, his eyes soft as he looks me over. I try to scoot as far away as I can and curl up in myself, refusing to take my eyes off of his movements. Mick drags his gaze up and down my body and I can see the warring feelings of desire and disgust on his face. I sneer at him and his expression hardens. He’s on his feet before I can blink and I push harder against the wall, tightening my arms around my bent knees. Muttering something to himself, he turns and stalks over to the bathroom. I hear him rummaging around and then the sound of water spraying causes tears to prick the backs of my eyes.
I want to be clean so badly but I also know what it means that he’s running a shower for me.
“I’ll clean you of your filth just to get you dirty again.”
His words echo in my mind.
I didn’t believe him then, didn’t take his threats seriously. I know differently now.I’mdifferent now.
When Mick returns and unlocks the metal cuffs on my wrists, I can’t stop the whimper as my raw skin is exposed to the air. He curses under his breath and reaches down. Yanking me to my feet, I stumble behind him as he drags me to the shower. I don’t protest as he pulls the soiled shirt off me nor when he pushes me into the falling water. The second the warm water hits my skin I groan, tipping my head back and enjoying the feeling. After a few moments, I peek my eyes open and see Mick staring at me with undeniable hunger and I can’t help but shudder under his intense gaze.
I try to cover myself with my arms but he grabs my wrists and yanks them back down. I cry out as the rough treatment reopens the wounds, biting my lip to stop from reacting more. I’m not sure what has caused him to want me again, but from the look in his eyes, my cries are only going to make this worse for me.
Mick drops my wrists and reaches over my head, grabbing the bottle of his body wash. Lathering his hands, he meticulously washes every part of my body. I watch him as his hands glide over my skin with a surprising tenderness, stiffening as he passes his hands between my legs. He proceeds without a reaction, almost clinical in his movements. He washes every inch of my body thoroughly twice before putting the bottle back on the shelf. Spinning me around, he massages shampoo into my hair. I bite my lip to hold back the moan as his fingers work my scalp.
I can’t marry the man in the shower with me to the man who has had me inhumanely chained to his wall. This man seems to care about me, the other would step on me as if I were nothing more than a bug.
I’m lost in my thoughts as I hear the water switch off. I immediately stiffen, terrified of what’s going to happen next. Mick doesn’t say anything as he grabs a towel and dries me off. I stay as still as possible as he pulls another of his oversized shirts over my head, leaving me bare again from the waist down.
When he stills, I look up at him.
Mick has his eyes closed and is breathing heavily through his nose. I watch as his chest rises and falls with each breath. I’m unable to tell what he’s thinking but something about his obvious discomfort causes a tiny bud of hope to bloom in my chest. I rub my fingernails against my skin to distract myself.
I can’t let those emotions start, it will only make it worse when he decides to let his monster out again.
Slowly, I turn to face him and he opens his eyes. I’m conflicted as I stare at him.
