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After confirming where to meet up, I end the call and stare down at the phone.
If I just knew you were okay, little bird. Just let me know you’re okay.
The silence suffocates me until I get up, trudging to my car and making my way down the long road.
Jesse whips open the door before I’m up the first step. He doesn’t say anything, crossing his arms and leaning against the doorway. I take in the space around me, reminded again how much we differ.
Jesse Rolland takes great pleasure in the finer things in life and really enjoys flaunting his wealth. After me, he makes the highest salary at our company, so he has plenty to show off. Where I prefer to keep my living low key, he has splurged in every sense of the word.
His home is a large three level mid-century style house. Most of the walls are glass, providing plenty of light but no privacy. The garage and parking area are on a sunken level alongside the basement with steps leading up to the main entrance. Above the door, the second story is visible from the ground level. The colors are also in contrast to my preferred dark undertones. Jesse elected more earthy tones to decorate his space. Natural wood, muted gray and dusty blue make up the primary colors. Brick pillars spattered almost randomly around the building, breaking up the otherwise sharp angles of the design.
If I were to need to describe the style of my friend’s house, the most accurate thing I could say would be pretentious confusion.
It’s a good thing he’s in construction and not design.
My lips twitch as the thought almost brings a smile to my face. However, the small burst of amusement is not quite enough to push past the dark hopelessness surrounding me.
Jesse claps my shoulder as I walk past him into the house. Shutting the door, he starts off down the hall. We make our way to his kitchen in silence. I slide into one of the seats surrounding the large island that takes up a large chunk of the room while Jesse opens the fridge and pulls out two beers. Popping the cap off of each, he hands me one and takes a large swig of his own. I tilt my head in thanks and sip at mine, fiddling with the bottle.
After a few minutes of stilted silence, Jesse clears his throat. “So, uh, can you fill me in on some more details? You said she, this Paige woman,” I bristle at his casual mention of her and he holds up his hands in defense. “You said she’s gone. What do you mean by that? Did she leave?”
I had taken the drive here to contemplate how to describe our situation. While I’m not ashamed of the things I do, the things I’ve done, I’m also aware that there are consequences within our society for my actions. Due to this, providing an accurate description proves difficult.
Taking a few more seconds to compose my thoughts, I gulp down more beer. Jesse watches me patiently, leaning back against the counter opposite from my seat. Ripping the bandaid off, I blurt out the words before I can change my mind.
“Paige is my…girlfriend.” Jesse doesn’t respond to my hesitation over the word, simply raising an eyebrow and indicating for me to continue. “Earlier today during our meeting, she called and texted me. She said an old friend of hers was there to take her to work but she didn’t feel right about it. Something about him seeming off.” I twirl the bottle in my hands to keep them busy. Jesse wouldn’t appreciate me destroying his things. With my emotions the way they are, there’s a very real possibility I will.
Taking a breath to calm the raging chaos inside, I exhale slowly as I continue. “Her last text was the info for his car and I recognized it as someone else’s. Someone who is a real fucked up guy. So I knew something bad was going to happen if I couldn’t get to her.” The skin on my hand has paled from the grip I have on the glass. Shame hits me again in full force at the mention of Seth using Kristoph’s car.
Such a fucking idiot. I should have known.
“That’s why you ran out.” Jesse mutters, interrupting my mental berating.
I nod, “Yeah. I went straight to her apartment and she was gone, her car still there. Which wasn’t a huge surprise but not good. I checked her work and she never showed up or called. I-” Putting down the bottle, I drop my head into my hands. “I haven’t heard from her since.” I admit, my chest aching, feeling the physical pain of her absence. I have become so dependent on her presence that her being gone has left a gaping hole. One I won’t be able to fill without her.
Silence fills the room, suffocating and imposing. My admittance of failure dredging up memories I had long since suppressed.
“Fucking worthless whore.” He screams into her face. She cowers back but there is nowhere for her to escape. “Useless. That’s what you are!” He lifts his hand and brings it down hard across her face. She cries out in pain, clutching the reddened cheek.
“P-please.” She begs. It never works, he never listens.
He scoffs, spitting in her face. “You have one job. Do it. I hope I don’t need to remind you what will happen if you don’t.”
I ball my fists at my side, wishing that I was big enough to stop him. To do something to save her.
My mother looks at me with tears in her eyes. Trembling, she returns her attention to my father. “Okay, I’m sorry.” She murmurs, casting her eyes down. Hand still clutched to the injured cheek, her shoulders slump as she resigns to the demands of the bastard.
My father glares at her, his eyes cloudy from whatever drug he shot up before storming into the room. “Get back in there then.” He snaps, gesturing through the open door to a room down the hall. No doubt where one of the “clients” is waiting.
I force myself to stay in place, knowing from experience if I try to intervene I’ll just make things worse. My mother shuffles out of the room but my attention remains on the man.I’ll kill you for this one day.I vow. One day, we will be free from this worthless shit.
Coming out of the memory, my body shudders. I lift my head and look at Jesse, my desperation seeping through each word as I speak. “I have to find her, Jesse. I have to get her back.”
He nods, pulling his phone out. “You said she sent you the car information?”
“Yes.” I picture the old, crappy vehicle. I never understood the desire to drive something that screams corrupt cop but I suppose Kristoph believed he really was untouchable. My lips twitch and heart swells with pride as I remember the bloodied state of his corpse after Paige was done with him.
“Good. I can send it over to my buddy on the force and he can-” Jesse cuts off mid sentence, startled as I slam my hands down on the countertop.
