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The first time Killian and I met replays and I buckle to the ground. My blasé attitude at a total stranger coming to fuck and kill me.
Another, more painful, memory surfaces.
My suicide attempt.
My breath catches and I desperately gulp in air to fight the suffocating feelings inside of me.
My tears have run dry by the time Killian pulls up. Leaping out of his car, he lifts me into his arms and tucks me into the passenger seat.
Looking through my life with the knowledge that my brain is actively working against me in so many ways, I feel an odd sense of comfort. Not because I’m fucked up, but rather because it’s not entirely my fault. That there’s a reason for the things I’ve done and, if Dr. Lareu is right, there’s a way to get better.
Killian holds my hand in his as we take our seats.
After my freak out, we had a long discussion about my diagnosis and what it means for us. I was terrified he was going to leave me, decide I was too much and he had finally had enough. It was a fruitless worry that he assuaged by his gentle care and violent fucking.
Peering up at the man who has become my entire world, my heart aches from the love I feel for him. Feeling my gaze onhim, he looks down, offering me a small smile and squeezing my hand. I take a deep breath and whisper, “Thank you.”
Lifting his free hand, he brushes his fingers on my cheek. “There’s no need to thank me.” He promises, holding my gaze. “I’m here for you no matter what, baby girl. I love your special brand of crazy and will do whatever it takes to make you happy.” My breath hitches, tears filling in my eyes.
Before I can respond, the psychologist pops her head into the waiting room calling, “Avamarie.”
I take a deep breath and stand, pulling Killian with me. Hesitating, I freeze in place.
Killian turns me to face him, holding my face in his palm. “You ready baby girl?”
Looking into his eyes, I find strength in them, knowing that no matter what comes from our visit today he will be there for me. Taking a deep breath, I nod, an overwhelming sense of relief flowing through me.
“Let’s do this. Together.”
Fallon and I fall over laughing, clinging to each other to keep from tumbling to the floor. Arriana chuckles behind us from her perch on the wall.
Over the last year and a half, the crazy bitch has grown on me, mostly due to the way she worships my best friend. The look in her eyes as she watches Fallon reminds me again how grateful I am the two of them found each other, even if I resented the fact initially.
Fallon giggles again, looking up to find Arriana watching her. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, she smiles coyly up at her. Arriana winks at her, mouthing “later”.
I roll my eyes, “If you two are done eye fucking each other.” I chuckle, turning toward the door as the elevator dings. My laughter quickly dies in my throat when my eyes land on Killian.
Taking a tentative step out of the lift, I stop before him. Killian peers up at me from his position on one knee, hands tucked behind his back. “Killian? What are you doing?” I whisper, glancing back to find Fallon wrapped up in Arriana’s arms as she watches us with a smile and tears in her eyes.
There’s no way. This is a dream.
I turn my attention back to Killian, subtly pinching my thigh in an attempt to wake up. When I don’t startle awake, I have to come to the conclusion this is really happening. “Oh my god.” I gasp, covering my mouth with my hands.
Killian smiles at me, bringing his arms around his front and opening up a black satin box. Nestled inside is the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. It’s a simple design with small diamonds lining the top of the band, a ruby stone nestled in the center.
Tears fill my eyes as I glance between the ring and the man I love.
“Avamarie.” He starts, his voice hoarse. “I love you more than life itself, baby girl. I would burn down the world just so we could have a space to exist together if that’s what was needed.” The tears threatening to fall slide down my face as I gasp for breath behind my hands. “You are the flame that ignites my soul, firecracker. The light to my darkness.”
Lifting his hands, he pauses before asking, “Will you marry me?”
Thank you!
I'm not crying, are you crying? Okay, maybe I'm crying just a little bit. It might have taken a lot to get there but Killian and Avamarie finally got the happily ever after they deserved.
I sincerely hope you loved reading My Little Girl as much as I loved writing it!
If you’d be willing to leave a review, I would appreciate you more than I can express. As an indie author, reviews help get my book in front of new readers - even if the review is a star rating with no words, every single one helps!
