Page 27 of Bourbon & Brawn


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Fired? That lasted all of four hours.

I would’ve stood my ground for at least a day, but truth be told, he makes me feel safe, even if I’m not and I want him close.

No smirks or smugness. He sat there while I agreed to retain his services until Ben could put one of his guys on me. It’s for the best, because Beau and I talked about the past for a few minutes, and one day soon, he’s going to hear me out.

When he returns from walking Ben out, he leans against the door frame. “I’d really like it if you closed your door. When we get the new office finished, maybe you can leave your door open sometimes.” His voice flooded with worry. “May I?”

He shuts the door and perches himself on my desk.

“I didn’t mean you could come in. I’ll follow your instructions, but right now, I can’t stand the sight of you. Please go,” I utter, pushing down the drowning sensation in the pit of my stomach.

I’m not expecting the softness in his next words. “That’s how I thought I would feel when I walked into your office last week, but it was the opposite. You’re still the stunning sparkler you always were. That’s the problem. I wanted the sight of you to make me sick.” He stands and trails his fingers over my desk. “Instead, it feels like I’m picking up the pieces of a crystal vase that’s been shattered…shards of glass so tiny I can’t possibly get them all.”

I stare down at my desk, fiddling with a pen. Words evade me as I grapple with uncertainty. Have I caused him so much pain that he can’t be glued back together?

He goes to leave a few seconds later, and I glance at his broad shoulders with a thin-lipped smile, making sure to close the door behind him. Is it bad to pick up the pieces? I want him to be happy. I know I fucked up keeping Beckett’s secret and Beckett reminded me that night.

My cell phone dings with a notification, so I reach in my purse and check the messages.

Rome:Do we still have a deal?

Me:Yes. Already sent the terms to the company attorneys.

Rome:Can you sneak away from your bodyguard tonight?

Me:Doubtful.

Rome:You don’t seem like the person who likes to be ordered around.

Me:Ha. I don’t.

Unless it’s Beau ordering me to strip—that I would enjoy.I twist my pen against my lips.

Rome:Then meet me for dinner. I’ll even come to you.

Me:But I can’t ditch him. Meet me at my house. Dropping a pin now.

Rome:Be there with bells on.

Ithumbs-upthe message but wonder what I’m doing. I’m still completely and utterly in love with Beau Landry. But as much as I yearn to be with him, I realize it’s a pipe dream. I was hoping he’d let go of his anger and resentment but it’s obvious he hasn’t.

I add my date with Rome to the calendar, and it notifies me that Beau has seen it. I hope he chokes on his tongue. He deserves this after last night. He’s going to watch me flirt all night. If he wants to stay on as my bodyguard then I’m going to make it hurt. But hell, maybe it won’t be as devastating as I once thought. When he said he wanted me, he could have just wanted a warm body and a release. He got the warm body, but not the release, which makes me wonder where he’ll find it.

At the end of the day, he follows me home.

His jaw is set, and his scowl is making his point.

Good. I’m done letting him hurt me. I’ve been in purgatory since I was eighteen. He never answered a text or voice mail. Mr. and Mrs. Bourne, Mark and Maverick’s parents, gave me his address overseas, and I wrote to him multiple times without a response. I didn’t try to explain in the letters or messages. They were a call to action. I was just simply asking for a chance to explain. Beau was a part of nearly every memory from the time I was twelve. Losing him almost killed me.

As I’m climbing the steps, he says, “Vanessa, I read your dad’s letter, and there are some red flags. Who would want to right a wrong? Why would he suggest I be your bodyguard but act as if he knew nothing about that in the letter to you?”

Freezing in place, I stop on the third step from the bottom. “My father asked for you to be the one protecting me?”

“Yeah, I assumed you knew.”

My mouth feels like it’s full of sand. “No. I wasn’t told that tidbit of information. People are going to quit underestimating me. I can handle what life throws at me. It may knock me off balance but I’m tired of people underestimating me and letting me go without a fight. I’m going up to change. If Rome arrives, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Beau’s hands are clasped in front of him, giving me a simple nod, acting like he’s guarding the President with no emotion whatsoever.

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