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The alarm on my smartwatch sounds, indicating it’s time to pack up and head over to the daycare.
Caleb resists when I try to pick him up, reluctant to leave his friends. “I wanna stay and play.”
Typically, I don't resort to bribes, but today, I mention, "We're going to visit Grandad."
“His birthday is in six months. I think it’s time for skates,” my dad says as he cuts his New York strip steak. He doesn’t look me in the eye because he knows I don’t want Caleb playing hockey.
“Caleb doesn’t even know what hockey is, and I want to keep it that way.” Glancing at my son, he’s working hard getting the peas onto the spoon. Every time he takes a bite, the peas spill and pop all over the table. Some even bounce to the floor. The days go by slowly, but the years go by fast.
“Dad, I know this is hard on you. Hockey is your life. I just want Caleb to grow up and choose who he wants to be and what he wants to do. Maybe he’ll love football or art.”
Caleb says, “Football… winners.”
My dad laughs, the bumps bounce along his throat like he’s choking. “Well, he’s heard football from someone.” He raises a brow.
“It’s kind of hard not to know about it when Logan Warren’s face is plastered everywhere. I met him and his girlfriend at a party.” Dad’s expression changed, but I can’t discern what it means. It’s almost blank.
“Brooklyn, we played Erik’s team last night.”
I don’t even look at the hockey schedule, and the mention of Erik’s name sends a creepy feeling up my spine. “He doesn’t know—does he?”
“No. I was hesitant to keep Caleb’s dad a secret, but Erik proved last night that he’s an asshole.”
Caleb mimics him, “Asshole.”
If you only knew, baby boy.
Dad and I can’t contain our laughter, so Caleb says it repeatedly. When I catch my breath, I look into his eyes. “That’s a grownup word. You can’t say that word.”
“Okay, Mommy.”
“He put an illegal hit on our center, and the refs ignored it. Luckily, there’s a new guy on our team who needs to take out his aggression on the ice, and he’s willing to stand up for his teammates. It got a little out of hand, and he’s banged up. But at least Erik was taught a lesson.”
My mind races as I chew my food. The mention of Erik’s name has me spiraling. What if he found out about Caleb and took him from me? His family has enough money and connections to bury me in legal fees and my dad too. I struggled with whether to tell him or not but eventually decided that it was for the best. He couldn’t be faithful to me for five minutes. And when I caught him and my sorority sister in his bed, he was angry with me like it was my fault.
But what happened next was where I drew the line.
“Dad, will you play his team here? At home?” My voice sounds like sandpaper, suddenly dry.
He places his napkin on his plate and leans back in his chair. “Yes. I told the athletic department that we didn’t want the home game. His team offered the university two million dollars to play home and away. I don’t know why.”
I move my peas in circles on my plate. “Maybe because you were the best college coach in the country. You recruited him and promised him you would get him to the NHL, then you left him, because of me. His family probably personally paid the university, thinking they would kill the Stallions.”
“Baby girl, none of this is your fault. I decided we needed to move.” He reaches for my hand and covers it with his. “If playing them was in my control, I would have stopped it, but the administration said the hockey team needed the funds. But you will always come first. I may have missed birthdays and figure skating competitions, but no one loves you more than me.”
“I know, Dad.”
“Why didn’t you listen when I said no hockey players?”
“I don’t know. I’m learning when you tell a kid not to do something, they do the opposite. And then there was this pretty boy, a jock paying attention to me… I just believed him.”
Dad stuffs his mouth. He chews and chews some more before out of the blue, he says,
“I think it would be best to stay away from your new friends.”
“Who? Logan and Harper?” Why did discussing Erik Bratt turn into talking about the campus “It” couple? “I didn’t say we were friends, but I met them, and they asked me to come to the Evy Brown Cheer-Off in a few weeks. Maybe the hockey team should do a cheer skit for charity.”
“No.” He pushes back from the table and walks into the kitchen, visibly bothered by two of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I unstrap Caleb from the highchair, clean him off, and set him down. “Go play with your dinosaurs.”
