AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah.”
Resentment, curiosity, and a dozen other emotions flood my conscience. Resentment for all the years he wasn't there, the moments and memories we missed out on. Curiosity about how he’ll explain his absence. Yet, deep down, a small flicker of hope sparks within me. Hope that this unexpected connection can bridge the gap, and I’m ready to admit I need a father just like Caleb does.
We take the elevator to the parking garage to retrieve my coat and gloves. My sleeves inch up on my forearms as I put the coat on. He tries not to stare, but he can’t help it. Everyone thinks every tattoo tells a story, and most of mine do, but I know people who just get inked with things that are cool or they like.
The walk to the water is bitterly cold, but at least we don’t talk. He guides me through the marina to a boat and gestures for me to get on. I’m a true crime junkie, and I convinced Brooke to watch a documentary with me last week even though we were in different cities. We started streaming it at the same time, and she was enthralled, asking questions and commenting so much, we had to pause a million times. Now, I’m wondering if I should step foot on this boat. Since his staff saw me, I think I’ll live.
The boat is spacious, designed with a protective shield around the steering wheel to safeguard it from the gusts of wind, and equipped with a cozy cabin located beneath the main deck. He drives us to a place where there’s a canopy of trees and puts the boat in park. “This is where I come to think and fish. I love to fish. Do you?”
I chuckle. “No. Never had time for it.” Moments pass when I finally ask, “Why did you want to see me? Tired of feeling guilty?”
“By the time your mom called me and said you were mine, I had a family and two kids. She waited until you were four years old. I told her I wanted to be in your life, but she said, ‘You live twelve hours away, and I’m not putting my baby through that.’ All she wanted was money. She signed an NDA. Do you know what that is, Reed?”
I chew on my bottom lip and nod. “I’m well aware. Did you contact Coach Sweet and ask him to take me as a transfer?”
“I did. He needed a star player, and you needed a home with a good man to look after you.”
Mr. Cross answers every question I throw at him. He remains calm, using a soothing voice which ticks me off even more. But my emotions are anything but hushed and levelheaded. I’m angry.
“I knew it. Fuck, this keeps getting worse. Did you give me up because you already had kids? You said you cared about her, but you didn’t fight for me.” For the first time in a long time, tears stream down my face and creek over my jaws. They drop onto my coat.
Everything inside me aches. Not understanding. Hell, if Brooke and Caleb were really mine, nothing would keep them from me.
I’m not the only one succumbing to my emotions. Mr. Cross wipes his eyes and clears his throat when he explains further. “I asked for a DNA test to make sure, but I knew it was possible, and the timing matched up. Since I was early into my NHL career, I listened to my publicist and agent. They convinced me to have your mom sign the NDA, pay her support, and set up a trust fund for you. Looking back, I don’t truly understand why she didn’t want me to be in your life, but she was dating a man, and they ended up marrying. She probably wanted him to be your father. I gave her more than she asked because you were my child. I paid for every hockey lesson. Boarding school.”
My bio dad’s eyes beg me to hear him. To believe that he wanted me. But he didn’t. He let two assholes in suits tell him to give up his rights to his child. I assume because it would reflect negatively on the NHL, and his wife would possibly divorce the rising NHL star.
“I don’t know if your other kids think money is enough, but I don’t. Take me back.” My insides shake uncontrollably like I’m on one of those wooden rollercoasters at a theme park.
He crosses from the other bench seat to me. He puts his arm around my shoulders, causing me to flinch at first. He holds his arm firmly in place. After a minute, when I’ve succumbed to his touch, he says, “Please come stay with us at my home. Meet my wife. I told her everything when Sweet agreed to offer a scholarship.”
“Did you pay him too?” My voice cracks and sounds hoarse from the crying. Damn, I’m such a pussy. If he says yes, I might explode. Please say no. Please say no. He’s the one father figure in my life.
“No, and I wasn’t paying your mom… or at least I didn’t think I was. I paid her support for you for monthly needs… for you. The trust was for the expensive items, and it had a limit on it each year. From what I understand from the money managers, and court documents, her husband convinced her to use the money for his fledgling business and embezzled money from your trust that was set up to pay for your hockey, school, car, or anything you needed.”
I let it sink in but all I can think of is my stepdad hitting my mom and that fateful afternoon when my life changed forever.
My voice drops, straining for volume. “I needed you. You’re the reason he… fucking beat her. I remember him saying she was in love with you.”
“I’ll accept responsibility for all my mistakes, but he’s the reason he beat her. No one else, especially not you. And as far as being in love with me, I assure you she wasn’t.” He gets on his knees in front of me and pulls my hands from my eyes. “Go home with me. Let’s not lose any more time together. Meet your stepmom. I almost lost the love of my life when I told her my secret. I realize now, that being young and stupid isn’t a reason not to tell the truth.”
“She doesn’t want me around.”
Why would she?
“It’s the opposite. She always wanted more children but after our second child was born, she almost died in childbirth. She had a complete hysterectomy after holding her son for a few minutes. Was she upset that I had kept this hidden from her? Yes, she was, but when we talked it through, I knew I had to reach out directly and ask for your forgiveness.”
Without realizing it, I wrap my arms around him, tuck my head into his shoulder, and cry. “I don’t even wish I could take it all back if it meant saving my mom. I’m a terrible person.”
“You’re not,” he whispers. “Will you forgive me? I know it will take time, and you won’t forget. Just please give me a chance to be the father I want to be.”
I nod without lifting my head to look at him. My emotions are all over the place.
“Thank you. Holly can’t wait to meet you. Your brothers no longer live at home, so it’ll only be three of us.”
We pull apart, and the thought of having parental figures in my life and siblings has me choked up.
He grabs my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. “I know there are more blanks to fill in, and I promise I’ll do that after you meet Holly, and we have dinner. I want you to stay as long as you want.”
