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“You don’t know me,” I said bluntly. “Maybe I asked to become a blood wolf.”
His eyes narrowed. “I know how the process works, Love. It’s not a secret to those of us who’ve been around long enough.”
“What is it, then?” I countered, not believing him.
He set his utensils down. “They adopt orphaned human girls between eight and ten, as if they’re kind souls who don’t want the little things to suffer anymore. They put all of the girls together in groups, with chefs feeding them highly regulated meals. Doctors visit them monthly and run bloodwork, makingsure they’re all as healthy as can be. They follow exercise regimens that are strict, but not brutal enough to delay puberty.”
With every word he said, my stomach clenched tighter.
My body did, too.
“When the girls’ hormones begin to change during puberty, they’re forced to ingest a large amount of vampire blood. Then, they’re injected with an assload of werewolf venom. The first shift is much more painful for the young girls than it is for grown women who’ve taken mates.”
The horrors of my past flickered through my mind as he continued speaking.
Every moment I’d lived—every one I’d spent in agony.
But he went on. “Less than half of the young girls would survive it, even without further intervention, yet the vampire bastards interfere further. While the girls suffer through the long, traumatic shift, they slowly drain their blood. Then, they watch their hearts stop. Most of them never restart, but a fraction of the time, they do. Their hearts restart, and they finish the transition to a vampire. Their bodies finish shifting, and they become wolves, too. They?—”
“Stop.” My word was sharp.
My hands shook, hard.
My emotions were growing wilder, harder to contain, and even my sleeping wolf was growing discontent within me.
He took my hand, and I held his for dear life, even though a part of me wanted to rage.
Most of me just wanted to cry.
“You didn’t ask to be a blood wolf, Love. No one does. You did the best with the shitshow you were dragged into, because you’re a survivor. I barely know you, and you’re already the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
I blinked quickly, fighting tears.
My throat was so thick, I wasn’t sure I could keep breathing. “I’ve never been strong. I just wanted to survive.”
“You’re a fucking miracle. Less than 1% of the humans usually make it.”
My whole body trembled as faces of the other girls flashed through my mind.
Faces, and bodies.
They hadn’t allowed us to take or keep any pictures.
All I had of them was my memories.
I stood abruptly. “I need a minute.”
And without further explanation, I fled.
eleven
LOVE
I lockedthe bedroom door behind me before I tucked myself into Madd’s bed, dragging my knees up to my chest. My tears soaked the pillow under my head, and my breaths grew into sharp, desperate gasps.
I’d never talked about the details of my transformation with Tori or Sienna.
None of us had ever wanted to revisit the horrors of the past.
