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Gray shrugs, not denying anything but clearly not wanting to talk about it either. He’s handsome, my roommate, in a young Hugh Grant kind of way. He has floppy brown hair and wears big round glasses, giving him that sexy intellect look. He’s tall, slim, and dresses impeccably. I love him like a brother, and he’s been the best friend I’ve ever had. Especially as he has no interest in vagina at all so there is no chance he will fuck me over like the last friends I had.
I swallow hard keeping my tears and bile down. “Enzo is sweet and loving and he gives his heart away easily. Just make sure you both know what this is between you, I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
He doesn’t say anything for a while and I rest my head on his shoulder. “Is that what happened with one or three of the fine-as-fuck sex gods from last night? You went into things with different expectations than they did?”
Tears burn at the back of my eyes. “I don’t want to think about them,” my voice is thick.
“Okay,” he says, softly.Thank God for that. “But…”Arsehole, should have known he wouldn’t leave it there. “If that Lance guyisbuying the club, it seems like you won’t be able to avoid them much longer. And, as entertaining as it was watching your drunk arse last night, I don’t want you to set yourself on a path of self-destruction over some fuckboys who are undeserving.”
“What do you mean? I don’t self-destruct.”
“Sure, in the two and a half years that I’ve known you, I haven’t seen you self-destruct. But I also haven’t seen you get anything more than slightly emotional drunk, never to the point that you weren’t in control. You were paralytic last night, Elle.”
“That’s an exaggeration,” I defend, feeling a little called out.
“All I’m saying,” he continues, putting his arm over my shoulders. “Is that if seeing someone, or some people, from your past is making you feel a little out of control, maybe you should talk to someone. You know I’m here if you want to hash it out, or maybe speak to someone more qualified, just don’t let your feelings fester. Okay?”
I let his words permeate. When I first got back to my parent’s house after leaving St La Salle, I was a mess for a really long time. My parents were gone for the first couple of weeks, and I didn’t leave my room. When they returned, we fought constantly. I drank, I partied with old‘friends,’and I cried the first time I had sex with someone else. Luckily for me, he was sweet about it, bundled me up in a blanket and held me until I could dry my eyes and head home. That was just another humiliation Lance was responsible for but one he’d probably never be aware of.
I didn’t really get my shit together until my father told me I couldn’t continue living under his roof unless I became a responsible adult and got myself a job. Of course, he wanted me to take a job at his shipping company and he thought he’d forced my hand. I decided that I’d had enough of rich-bitch-living so I got online and found an ad for room for rent, checked my bank account for the first time ever and was surprised to see a large deposit from a bank account I didn’t recognise. Rather than questioning it, I moved to the city and used what money I had on rent while I tried to find a job.
I worked at Rossi Deli for a while, which is where I met Tony and Enzo as they owned the place. When Tony introduced me to his girlfriend, Gaby, we hit it off and started hanging out all the time. When we did a karaoke evening, she told me I had to join her at auditions for Starlight Lounge and the rest, as they say, is history. I only really started feeling okay when I had surrounded myself with new friends; the family I chose.
“Okay,” I sigh. “You got some time now?”
He looks down at me with a warm smile. “For you, bitch? All the time in the world.”
“What happened tobirthdaybitch?”
“Your birthday was yesterday.” He kisses the top of my head and stands, offering his hand to haul me to my feet. “Okay, you shower because honestly…” He waves his hands in front of my body. “Ew.” He turns on the shower for me as I fight my smile, trying to look offended. “I’m going to make coffee and breakfast. When you’re ready, you’re going to join me and tell me the tale of Beauty and the Three Sexy Beasts.”
21
HAYDEN
It’s really fucking hard to concentrate. Sydney’s office is rather crowded today as he holds this meeting, so it’s easy to get away with staring off into space rather than concentrating on whatever bullshit they’re going on about. I knew the moment Sydney told Lance to secure the property on the border between the northeast and northwest quadrants that this would be big. The usual swirl of fate and anticipation snowballed in my centre and not just because Sydney was letting Lance take complete control of this deal.
It was Elle. I didn’t know it at the time, I didn’t know until I received the message from Lance last night but as soon as I did, realisation blanketed me. I hadn’t wanted Elle to leave three years ago but, despite the initial heartache, I knew without a doubt that she would be back in our lives again. And here she is. My whole body buzzes with electricity, I’m on edge, desperate to see her again, and eager to start mending the broken bridges between the four of us.
Lance stands next to his father behind the large wooden desk, his arms folded and his face set in the cold mask of ruthless leader. It’s been three years, but this side of him still jars me. When we’re alone or when it’s the three of us at home, Lance is still the smiling warm pillar of friendship that he always had been. But nowadays, as soon as we leave that bubble, he becomes second in command of The Daos and although I can’t deny that I find that guy hot as sin, my private smiles and warm touches are still my preferred version of the man I…
Fuck. My head is all over the place. Lance is slowly spiralling and it puts me out of sorts. Lance and I have a weird relationship, we’re connected beyond friendship, beyond friends with benefits, but we aren’t together. He says we can’t, which I get, I really do. The nitwits and Neanderthals he has to deal with on a daily basis would not be open to a queer leader. He has neverasked me to be anyone other than myself and when the heat rises too much between us, he caves and we end up lip locked and frantically touching. We’ve never had sex. I get that sex is a construct and there are many different acts that can be construed as sex…blah blah blah. But we’ve only ever done hand and mouth stuff and I’m usually the one giving. I know there’s something other than people’s bigotry holding him back, but it’s nothing he wants to share.
The point is, I’m supposed to be observing this meeting, keeping my wits about me and reporting back to Sydney. But my mind is on the man who won’t,can’t, commit and the woman who has ghosted me every day for three years. Ineedto see her.
“Hey boss,” a deep voice across the room brings my attention back to the meeting in front of me. “We got a visit from a Detective Cooper the other day. He’s been sniffing around all week. Looked into him, he seems to have recently transferred from a different city.”
Sydney doesn’t look at all surprised or perturbed by this news. If you aged Lance by twenty-or-so years, you’d get Sydney. He’s a good looking guy, his golden blonde hair now streaked with silver, which only adds to his attractiveness. The big difference between the two of them though is that where Lance’s mask is the cold gangster, Sydney lives that role and any warmth he gives was a veil over stone. “Call Garson at the station and tell him if he wants to keep getting a paycheque and feeding his habit, he’ll sort out Detective Cooper before I do.”
I scan the room, Sydney has asked for my help with one thing in particular today and the sooner I do it, the sooner I can get out of here. How we ever thought I could stay close to Lance and Brent and not be drawn into The Daos, I will never know. Lance tried to keep me away but we live together and we are, well, a non-couple I guess. It started with a favour here and a quick job there and before we knew it, Sydney had become aware of my talents for reading people and he offered me a place on his payroll. As much as I never wanted this life, you don’t say no to Sydney Preston. I wouldn’t change a moment of it though, because it means that I have Lance and that he has me.
“We’ll leave it there but before you all go…” Sydney scans the room, his eyes landing on me for a split second before moving on. That’s my cue, I look out on the six men in the meeting that aren’t me, Brent, Lance, or his father. I look for fidgeting hands, weight shifting from foot to foot, averted eyes, or restless legs. “One of you arseholes is stealing from me.”
A tense silence falls over the room and most of the bodies inside are stock still. Apart from one. I recognise him as Julian Harper, one of Sydney’s top collectors. He shifts nervously and chews on the inside of his cheeks, looking to the ground, the movements are microscopic but they stand out to me. I catch Sydney’s eye again and throw my gaze to the culprit.
“And I hope you know that it won’t end well.” Sydney continues like our little silent conversation hadn’t happened. “You can get out now. Julian stay”
The room empties pretty quickly leaving Lance, Brent, and Sydney on one side of the desk and Julian and I on the other. Sydney sits back down in his imposing leather desk chair and looks to the paperwork in front of him, waving a pen over it as he pretends to read. He lets the silence stretch uncomfortably until the other man loses his nerve.
