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“You can’t think I would do that.”
Reilyn looked away from me.
“I’m not going to kill you. You are too important to me,” I said. “You-”
“Stop,” Reilyn whimpered, the tears she’s been holding finally spilling down her face.
“I won’t.” I moved closer, holding her face and wiping a spilt tear. “Because I can’t bear the thought of you dying, Reilyn. Don’t you see? Do you truly think I would kill you, even if it would save my own life?”
Her lip trembled, “No. I don’t. Goddess, I wish you would.”
“What?”
“I’m making you weak. “You can’t say it hasn’t been suggested already,” Reilyn sobbed, “That’s what Klaus wants. Isn’t it? I’m useless, and useless things are discarded.”
“Reilyn—”
“You have no reason to trust me. You have no reason to keep me. I’m just a dead burden, so I might as well be—.”
I grabbed her shoulders, desperate to make her understand. “You’re not a burden. Do you know what I felt-”
She shook her head. “I should’ve listened to you. The signs were all there. I’m so stupid. I-”
“Reilyn,” I squeezed her shoulders, making her fall silent. “Will you stop jumping to conclusions for five seconds to let me tell you what I felt when I realized you had run away from me in the night market?”
Her tear-stricken eyes levelled on mine. I felt her swirling emotions. Hurt. Fear. Betrayal. Anxiety.
“When I realized you’d teleported, I searched for you. Tried to reach you through our bond and even commanded the city guards to look for you. I had to find you. Not because I was betrayed or feared you would break the spell and come back to kill me, but because I was afraid for your life.” I moved my hands to hold her beautiful face. “I was so afraid, Reilyn. I realized how stupid I had been, keeping you at arm’s length.”
Reilyn searched my face. She was rigid under my touch but didn’t pull away. She licked her lip nervously and asked, “The night of Bonfyr’s celebration, why did you leave me?”
“On Bonfyr’s night, I didn’t walk away because I was trying to manipulate you. I walked away because as I felt you climax at my touch, I… I was afraid,” I admitted. “I… I was afraid,”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid that your desires were false. I was pushing my lust for you into your body, and the connection between us was creating a false want in you. That I was inadvertently….”
Slowly, her hand moved up to press into mine. Reilyn gave me a trembling smile. “I told you. The first time I saw you, I thought you were the most beautiful man I’d seen. I’m not inexperienced in the ways of lust, Araki. I know what it feels like. I’ll admit it’s stronger with you than anyone I’ve ever met before.”
I stroked my thumb over her cheek. “This connection between us… I’ve never felt anything like it before. When I felt that pain, like a fire in my leg, and realized you were poisoned… I didn’t care about my own life. Not at that moment. I only wanted you back. I never felt such fear… the fear that I would lose you.”
I nudged the bond between us open, allowing my vulnerable truth to flow to her. She accepted that truth, leaning forward to press her forehead to mine. “In the Forest, when we were being attacked… all I wanted to do was save you,” I whispered. “I wanted to save you from the Nightshade, from Opaline. You have a good soul, Reilyn. Such a big heart, trusting to a fault.”
Reilyn closed her eyes, and the tension eased from her body. I wanted to pull her in closer, kiss her, hold her, and ease the pain she was feeling. I didn’t. She had to make her own choices. I’d opened up to her, and now it was her choice whether she would open up to me or shut this down. Her breath wafted over my face, soft and sweet. I waited.
“At the graveyard,” Reilyn whispered.
It took me a moment to remember what she was talking about. Even though it had been a few days since I kissed and touched her, it seemed like a lifetime ago. Everything had altered there. Since then, it had been a flood of emotion, changes, and struggle to keep up with how fast everything was moving.
Reilyn opened her eyes again. “At the graveyard when you kissed me. All I wanted was for you to hold me. It was the first time I stopped thinking about Master Briggs. It makes me sick to know what happened to him and the others… to know that… I still don’t understand why Opaline would have done that to him. Why would she choose someone so loyal to the Nightshade? Is it just because of me? I thought they were friends.”
“Opaline doesn’t care about loyalty or friendship. I doubt she chose your tutor because he was your tutor. More likely, hefound out something he shouldn’t have known. And so she took out the threat to her plans.”
Reilyn shuddered. “I still blame myself. But the pain isn’t so suffocating when I'm with you.”
“I feel the same.” I searched her face. Did she feel everything else I felt, too?
I couldn’t stop thinking about touching, loving, and giving her the whole world. Some could say my judgment was clouded. But I had never felt so certain about anything in my life. Her fingers brushed against my cheekbone, and a shy smile came to her eyes. “I’m afraid.”
