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Austin’s hand grips mine tighter. "What did the doctor say? I guess you spoke with them afterwards?"
I nod. "That he would have needed end of life care within six months."
"He didn't want to leave you both with his debt, or to be his carer."
"He decided to leave us...he didn't allow us a goodbye. I’m not sure I can ever forgive him for that, and I hate carrying anger around when he can’t do anything to change it.” I have to stop because the ball in my throat burns so much.
I feel like it’s taking over me.
I breathe through the knot in my chest.
I swallow. “I don’t want to spend my life being mad at him when I loved him so much.”
The tears fall.
Austin lifts his hand, brushing them aside. “Sweetheart, you have to let it go. Anger only serves to consume you, it takes from you, it hurts you. You need to forgive him.”
I sigh. Can I?
I really want to… “I don't remember the last thing I said to him." The last words rush out on a sob as Austin cradles me.
I let the moment pass, waiting for my heart to rebuild itself, like it's done many times before. I wipe at my face, a little embarrassed and pull away from him.
"I know you want to think about that ending, what you said to him, but when it came to Matt, the last words weren’t easy to hear either and I don't know if I want to remember it. It’s not important to remember them, the lifetime of memories are.”
I sniff, desperately wanting to wipe my nose on my sleeve so that Austin doesn’t see my snot.
“Thank you for trusting me with this."
"I should have told you ages ago."
"Is that what your dreams are about?"
I hide the flinch. I'm not going into the dreams right now. I don't fully understand them myself, and I don't want to talk about something I haven't grasped completely. "Sort of."
I hate the lie, but I can’t offer him an explanation that I’m certain of.
"Come on, the coffee is on me, we need to get you warmed up a little." He stands as I gather the blanket. The second I step beside him he takes my hand and squeezes. My heart squeezes with it.
One way or the other, I'm going to know whether Austin Whitlock is going to stick around, and I only have one more secret to go. It's going to be a big one, judging by the dreams, it's going to hit us on the level of make or break.
The break coming when he commits murder.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT ¦ ESCAPE
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Austin
The second her head drops onto my shoulder mid-flight, my heart rolls leisurely in my chest. So much so, I'm concerned that I'm having palpitations. I've fallen completely and utterly in love with her, and there's nothing I won't do to save her from the dreams she's been having, or from the past she's trying to keep hidden.
Not knowing what my future looks like isn't as scary as I thought it would be.
Not when I have the woman that I love right beside me.
I just need to tell her how I feel, once all the shit is done with. Being surrounded by drama doesn’t offer the best setting for declaring your love. Things feel less stressed now we’ve stepped away from Boston, and I want to appreciate the time away with my family, as I know that the drama will be there when we get back.
The plane rocks as I close my eyes, allowing the scent of cherries to envelop me. With my girl cuddled up next to me, peaceful in sleep, for the time being, I drop under with her.
