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I got out of bed and headed to Noah’s bathroom. I looked like a mess, but there wasn’t much I could do. I put my hair up in a bun, doing my best. Going back to the bedroom, I put my underwear back on and grabbed one of Noah’s shirts, pulling it over my head. It was so big on me, but I felt more ready to talk to him. I thought we were going to talk last night. I hadn’t expected my lingerie to work so effectively.
But if I wanted the momentum to continue, Noah would have to talk to me. Something he tended to avoid.
When I went out into the hallway, I found Noah pacing back and forth. He was only wearing a pair of boxers, giving me an unobstructed view of his muscular body. It was just as good the morning after.
“Good morning.”
Noah stopped pacing when he noticed me looking at him. “That can’t happen again.” He motioned towards his closed bedroom door.
“Why not?” I was playing with my hands, full of nerves. I didn’t want Noah to completely shut me out again. I didn’t think I could deal with that a second time.
“It’s wrong. You have to know that.”
I struggled with those thoughts too. I had felt bad because Noah had been married to my sister. I was worried about what people would think and what it meant about my moral standings.
The biggest thing that ate me up was how Kylie would feel. Was this just me jumping on the opportunity with no regard to my late sister? The guilt was heavy, and it was part of the reason why I left when Noah asked me. It was easier to run away than deal with my mixed-up feelings, and I could blame him at the same time. But after some deep thought and soul searching, I realized we weren’t doing anything wrong. Yeah, it was a little weird, but our feelings for one another just grew because we had fostered a deep connection after a major tragedy.
“It’s not, Noah. I know it feels strange—”
“No one can replace Kylie.”
There was a long pause after Noah said that. Did he think that was what I was trying to do?
“I don’t want to replace Kylie. I’m not Kylie. I’m Scarlett, and I want to be here as Scarlett.”
“It’s not that simple…”
“Isn’t it. I mean, I can help out. You can’t stay in the mansion forever. I was here for a year and saw how you shut yourself up in here. And it doesn’t look like much has changed. Plus, maybe Olivia should try out a preschool before going to kindergarten. Do you have any plans for her?”
“I’ve been thinking about it,” he mumbled.
“Olivia’s lonely, Noah. She doesn’t really have any friends. There’s Bryant, but she needs to be around people more. Let me help with that.” I tried to reach out and touch him, but Noah backed away.
“She doesn’t need a new mom,” Noah bit back. “A sibling would do her more good.”
It hurt that he was talking to me like this. It felt like his opinion of me was low to think I just wanted to come in and take over. I wanted to work with Noah. I needed him to understand that.
Maybe I needed to do something drastic.
“Okay, then.”
“Okay, what?” Noah looked at me, his eyes searching mine.
“I can help with giving Olivia a sibling.”
It sounded absolutely crazy coming out of my mouth, and my thoughts were backed up with the look Noah gave me.
“What?”
“I want to help, Noah.”
I doubled down—no backing out now. And I didn’t want to, not really. I wanted Noah to understand how committed I was to Olivia. And how committed I was to him as well.
This time, I was putting up a fight, even if that meant having his child.
Chapter Six
Noah
After Scarlett and I had our weird morning conversation, I told her I needed some time on my own. She didn’t seem happy, but she also didn’t argue. She went to her room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I wasn’t alone enough, though. I needed to get outside.
I wrote a note letting Scarlett know I was heading out. I asked her to pick up my daughter from Hope and Darren’s house. Olivia would enjoy seeing her aunt, and I knew Hope would too. I grabbed a small pack and filled it with a few things I would need for my hike before heading out.
I went to one of my preferred paths. It wasn’t near the cliff where Kylie had her accident. That one used to be our favorite, but ever since, I hadn’t gone back. It was hard to think about her. My wife and I hadn’t had much time together. We met a year before we got married, and the connection was instant. I had never fallen for anyone the way I fell for Kylie. I had planned on spending the rest of my life with her.
