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I tense and turn us around so she’s straddling me again, her hair falling down the front of her body and her dress bunched around her waist. “Raya, take all the time you need. I’ll wait as long as you want me to. To be honest, I was a virgin until college too, so I get it. I found it really hard to trust anyone, and I constantly feared that the story of me losing my virginity would end up in the tabloids.” If only that had been the worst thing that could’ve happened. “I was sure I’d suck at the whole sex thing and whoever I slept with would go on to do an interview with some dumb tabloid, like The Herald.”
Raya’s eyes widen in surprise, her mood lifting. “I can’t even imagine having the media watch my every move. There are many parts of your life I envy, but that isn’t one of them.”
I cup her face, my heart heavy as my thumb brushes her lips. I wish I could protect her from that kind of scrutiny, but the second the media finds out about her, they’ll dig up every last detail they can find. “It isn’t easy, but on the flip side, it allows us to do so much good. Whenever we can, we try to divert the publicity towards our charities or our businesses.”
She nods, her gaze roaming down my chest and abs leisurely. Fuck, I’d give the world to have her ride me just like this. Someday… hopefully someday soon.
“Tell me, are there things you’ve never done?” she asks. “Not sexually, per se. Just things you might not have found the right person for?”
“So many things. There are a lot of things that I’m reserving for my wife, and no one else.”
Her gorgeous brown eyes twinkle with curiosity. “Like what?”
“My home, for starters. I’ve never brought a woman to my home on the Windsor Estate. The same goes for my company — I’ve never brought a woman into my office, my worksites, or my labs. Then there are more specific little things. I’ve never cooked for anyone but my family, and I haven’t ever let a woman drive my cars.”
Raya grabs my hands and entwines our fingers as she lifts our joined hands to her face. “A meal cooked by Lexington Windsor…” She kisses my knuckles, and my heart begins to race. “I have a feeling you’d look really sexy standing behind a stove.”
I thread a hand through her hair and pull her down for a kiss. “What’s your favorite food, Raya?”
She laughs, the sound warming my heart. “Definitely my mom’s lamb biryani.”
“I guess I’d better learn how to cook that then,” I murmur against her lips. “Do you think she’d be willing to teach me?”
She giggles, not realizing that I’m dead serious. I always thought I’d hate being forced into an arranged marriage, that I’d resent my wife.
Until I met Raya Lewis.
“I’ve heard the rumors about you being a massive flirt, but experiencing it myself is something else altogether,” she says, her tone playful.
My stomach turns, and I look away, bitterness washing over me. “I haven’t dated anyone in years, Raya. The press loves to report absolute bullshit about my family. Just because it’s in the papers doesn’t mean it’s true.”
Her gaze roams over my face, searching. “Then give me another Truth, and I’ll trade you a Dare.”
I raise a brow, intrigued by the curiosity in her eyes. “What is it you want to know?”
She hesitates, nibbling on her lip for one second, and then another, the silence stretching between us. “Tell me why you haven’t dated anyone in so long.”
I tense involuntarily, unsure how to answer her. “I prefer logic and reason. Realistically, being in love is just a chemical reaction, one that impairs your judgement. I have no interest in it, and thus, I have no interest in dating anyone.”
Her expression falls, and she nods as she forces a smile that seems so genuine I wouldn’t have realized how fake it is if I hadn’t had the honor of witnessing her real smiles all evening.
“I take it you don’t believe in fate or true love, then?”
I huff, my amusement apparent. “Of course not. Surely you don’t either?”
“I do,” she says, her expression solemn. “It’d be hard to look at my parents and think that’s anything but true love. It’s what I want for myself someday — a marriage like theirs. I want thejokes, the way they still look at each other, the cute notes they leave hidden around the house, and the weekly dates they still go on. I want more than a marriage that really is just a glorified friendship — I want true love.”
I look away, knowing I can never give her that. If I’d never known that I can’t be what she needs, would that have made the next few years more bearable?
Nine
Lexington
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I wake up with a smile on my face, Raya’s perfume lingering all around me. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I didn’t think she would be so easy to talk to. I genuinely enjoyed her company, and the chemistry between us… it was unreal. Neither of us wanted the night to end, and we stayed up late, drinking wine and playing truth or dare, until we couldn’t keep our eyes open any longer. I carried her to my bed and kissed her goodnight, and for the first time in years, I fell asleep next to someone.
My eyes flutter open as I reach for Raya as carefully as possible, so I don’t wake her up… only to find her side of the bed cold and empty. I sit up in surprise, my gaze roaming around the room in search of her, only to settle on the note left on my nightstand. My heart sinks as I pick it up.
Truth: Last night was amazing, and getting to know you was a little surreal. They say don’t meetyour heroes, but you surpassed every expectation, every notion of who I thought you were. You’re incredible, Lexington Windsor.
