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“You don’t know how much that means to me, thank you.”
After laying Kiran down, I wrap Jade in my arms for a big hug. I don’t know where I would be if I didn’t have her. When I first left Richmond Valley, I was beyond lost, with no direction and no real plan. But then I made one of the best decisions and called Jade.
At the time, she had just relocated to New Orleans and was renting a small two-bedroom apartment in the heart of the city. She offered to let me stay with her and Willow and help me get my feet on the ground. To have some sense of security, knowing my world was flipped upside down when I found out about the pregnancy.
Come to find out, Jade never really had much of a family either once she was taken away from my mother and grandmother. It was just her and her dad until she was old enough to be on her own. She had just gotten out of a pretty shitty relationship with Willow’s dad right before moving to New Orleans and was in the midst of starting over when I reached out.
Considering she’s only eight years older than I am, our relationship grew into more of a best-friend dynamic rather than one of an aunt and niece. Since we didn’t have all those years together, we had to start from scratch. I like to think that we helped each other get through those first few months. And not just her taking me in, but opening her arms and heart freely to a stranger. We’ve grown a tight family unit together, and that means everything to me.
“Let’s figure out a plan for this week. I’ll need to work out a few more things, and then finalize packing for the move. It might take me some time for us to get up here,” Jade says, rubbing my back softly.
“Are you sure you’re okay with moving again? I don’t want you to feel obligated.”
“You know how desperately I want to get away from him. I just need to work out a few things. Are you sure you want us to tag along?”
“I wouldn’t want it any other way.” I smile, and it’s true. They’ve been such an essential part of Kiran and my life that I can’t picture moving away from them.
We’re really doing this…
Looking over to where Kiran sleeps soundly next to Willow’s cot, I exhale the breath with new resolve. This is what he needs, what he deserves. I don’t want him living life, never knowing what it feels like to be surrounded by loved ones and family. Because that’s what we are in Richmond. Now, to prove to them all I'm not the villain in this story.
* * *
I wakeas the first beams of daylight reach the windows. Stretching wide, I relish the feel of the massively oversized bed, somewhat relieved yet terrified to be back in Richmond Hills.
Not long after Jade and I decided we were officially moving, Lottie came to our hotel room. Nox had gone directly to them after our encounter at the park and told them what had happened. Lottie, being the saint she is, invited us to stay at her house while we got everything figured out. She didn’t ask for answers, didn’t even question me. Just said she was happy to have me back, and once I’m ready to tell my story, she’ll be there to listen. I was beyond grateful; I just hope the rest of the crew shares the same sentiment.
Movement, followed by a whimper in Kiran’s pack-and-play, has me up and across the room. He’s usually a great sleeper, but I think he prefers the comfort of his crib. Needless to say, the last few nights have been rough. The constant state of awake left me ample time to overthink every detail from the past two years.
Peering into his bed, Kiran lies awake, rubbing his eyes. “Mama,” he says in a half cry.
“Good morning, my beautiful boy.”
A small smile spreads across his face, and I scoop him up when his arms reach out for me. Holding him close to my chest, I release a sigh, preparing myself for the day ahead. There’s no doubt in my mind it’s going to be a tough one, as Lottie invited everyone over for a cookout. Everyone except for Colton, since he already left for his sophomore year at college. That’s a whole other whirl of emotions I need to deal with, but we need to take this one day at a time.
According to Lottie, the crew knows I’m here with Kiran. I would never worry about them being around him, but I can’t say I’m not nervous about their acceptance. And their questions. Questions I’m not prepared to answer until I can find the time to get Nox alone and talk with him. Before the damn DNA test arrives. He needs to know my why… He deserves the whole story.
A few hours later, I'm sitting at the kitchen island with Lottie as Kiran babbles on my lap, chomping on some slices of banana. Greyson officially met the little man. What a big mush he is when it comes to babies. Who would have thought? Last night, he even helped a sleeping Kiran inside, but he’s kept his distance from me, and I get it. He’s as loyal as they come, and he’s probably as unsure as I am about where his best friend stands.
“Does he have a favorite food?” Lottie asks as she cuts him up some more.
“He’s a big eater. He’ll devour just about anything I give him,” I respond while putting another handful of Cheerios on the plate in front of us. Kiran’s legs kick in excitement.
“Chee-o’s,” he cheers as his hand reaches for a fistful.
“He’s beautiful, Em. I don’t know if I've ever seen a baby this cute.” Kiran drops his head back onto my chest and smiles, his face covered with banana bits.
“Come here, buddy, your face is a mess,” I say as I wipe his cheeks. Placing Kiran on a playmat with a few toys, I head into the kitchen to clean up his breakfast.
I hear the front door open in the distance and steel myself for the impending inquisition. Pouring myself another cup of coffee, I turn around just as Frankie and Lucian walk into the open-concept kitchen and living room area. Lucian spots me first, his face brightening. He drops the delicious-smelling bakery boxes on the counter before wrapping his arms around me and squeezing me tight. We stand like that for minutes, just soaking in each other’s embrace. Other than Nox, I used to shy away from this type of affection, but Kiran has changed all that. He’s opened up a side of me that I never knew existed.
“I'm so happy you’re here, Em,” he whispers and places a gentle kiss on the top of my head. Tears prick the backs of my eyes. Here I was, expecting the worst, and he’s just happy I'm here.
“Mama!” Kiran yells from where he’s sitting on the floor.
“I heard you’ve gone and made me an uncle and didn’t tell me. We will talk about that later, but for now, I'm dying to meet him.” He says it like a question, his gaze imploring mine. I know he’s hurt. Lucian is the only one I kept in contact with while I was gone. And yet I still didn’t tell him…
“I’d love for you to. His name is Kiran…” I turn to him with pleading eyes. “I’ll tell you everything. I just haven’t had the chance to explain things to Nox.”
