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I let out a sarcastic laugh. I feel like I’m caught up in a cyclone of rage, hurt, and curiosity.
“Not really sure, G. I’m trying to hold it together…for his sake.” Really, I want to go over there and demand answers.
“Nox…” Greyson’s voice is almost pained. “His eyes.”
I nod as my emotions threaten to choke me.
“I told y’all there is no doubt he’s mine.” Of course, I filled them in on the secret I found out in the park, and they were all equally shocked. I rake my hands through my hair. “I’m a fucking mess, and trying not to think about the fact that the girl I used to love has kept my son from me.”
Darkness was the enemy last night. I tossed and turned for hours, so many possibilities running through my head. The conclusion I came up with is she didn’t realize she was pregnant when she left, and then she started hooking up with someone else and assumed the baby was his. But what has changed now? The fight in NC? The fact there is no denying he’s mine and she couldn’t handle the guilt every time she looked into his eyes?
Did she miss me?
“As anyone in your shoes would be. You’re holding it together well. Are you going to talk to her?”
I shake my head. “As soon as those results confirm what I already know, I am going to demand every fucking answer I deserve.” And I’m going to spend every waking minute making up for lost time with my son.
He nods and pulls on his grilling apron. I laugh silently because, damn, I never thought I’d see the day Greyson was so…domestic.
My eyes shift back over to Emerson, and I find her walking this way. Still so fucking beautiful. Even if I don’t want to admit it, I think the purple hair is my favorite.
Fuck.
“Hey, Nox,” she says gently, and I can tell she has her guard up. But my words are caught in my throat as my eyes connect with Kiran’s.
His head is still lying against Emerson’s chest, but his eyes are open. His sweet, vulnerable expression and the way he clings to his mom have my insides aching with loss.
Loss of time, memories…love.
I reach out to rub his hair, wondering if he feels the immediate connection we have.
Emerson gives me a minute to admire him before she says, “I’m just going to change him, and we will be right back.”
She always struggled with affection, so seeing her with him…so close and adoring stirs something dormant within my soul.
“Noxy!” Ford shouts, probably watching me stare at the closed door behind them, looking as lost as I fucking feel right now. “Come play pool pong.”
After a few games, we move to the side of the pool. The warm sun feels good beating down on my arms resting up on the concrete. I reach over, pushing Ford’s chin up. “Bro, close your mouth. You look like a dog with your tongue hanging out.”
He laughs and glances back at Lola. “She’s fucking hot…and it’s not like I’m allowed to look at the other three. Two are spoken for, and one is like my sister. Eww.” I want to say Emerson isn’t spoken for, but the primal side of me can’t seem to push that lie past my lips.
“Have y’all ever hooked up?” I ask, knowing she hangs around the clubhouse a lot.
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’m just admiring the scenery.” Winking, he nods in the direction of the house.
Emerson comes out the door, and when she sets Kiran down to walk on his own, it’s the first time I’ve truly been able to admire her new body.
It’s athletic, long and lean...like it's always been. But as my gaze trails up to her breasts, which are fuller than they used to be, my dick swells at the sight.
Fuck, she’s even sexier than every memory-filled dream I’ve had since she left.
My heart rate spikes for another reason as I notice Kiran running this way toward the water. A terrified Emerson runs behind him, calling his name.
“Hey, little buddy, come here,” I say, moving down the pool a few feet to the area he has his eyes on. He slows down and waddles his little swim trunk-covered legs in my direction, Emerson backing off as she realizes he’s coming to me.
His hands start clapping as I hold my arms out to him. I find Emerson’s stare, and she nods in approval as I move to pick him up. “You want to get in the water, my guy?”
When I dip his legs in a little bit, his eyes light up with excitement as he giggles. Each time I dip him lower, his baby babbles get louder and louder as his chunky legs move a mile a minute. I watch him in awe, staring at his perfect face. The beauty mark he has just above his lip matches Emerson’s, and my heart skips a beat.
