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Her breath blows over my chest as she talks to him, causing a stir low in my belly.
“He’s okay,” I reassure her at the same time Kiran perks up and says, “Mama, milk.”
“I think he’s hungry. But we did have a little episode of him getting some sunscreen in his eyes.”
Kiran looks up at me and runs his tiny hand over the scar right above my eye. His little touch, paired with the memory and the look in Emerson’s eyes right now, is like a gut punch.
She quickly recovers, reaching for her son, and he moves right into her waiting arms. “Let’s get you some milk, buddy. And we’re about to eat too.”
“Sorry, I wasn’t sure what he could eat.” I sound as unsure as I feel right now.
“He stopped breastfeeding right at a year old, so he’s been drinking whole milk for the last two months and he eats real food too.” I stare at her in awe, still so shook that she is a mom. And that she is here. What the fuck. My emotions are making me feel like I’m losing my mind.
“So, he’s fourteen months old… When is his birthday?” I ask, and she swallows roughly at my question.
She nods. “Yeah, almost… His birthday is June 30th.” Then she quickly changes the subject, obviously uncomfortable. But too fucking bad… I have a lot of questions, and theywillbe answered. Just not here, not in front of him. I can’t promise I will be able to control myself.
“Sorry about the sunscreen thing. Jade took our pool bag back with her on accident, and Lottie didn’t have any baby sunscreen.”
I’m hung up on the name she dropped. “Jade? Who’s Jade?”
That has Kiran’s head perking up. “JJ… Lilow?” he says, looking around like they may appear.
“No, JJ and Lilow aren’t here, buddy. They will be soon,” Emerson says to Kiran, and then addresses me. “Jade is my aunt. My mom’s sister. Turns out, she’s pretty great and nothing like the rest of my family. She has a little four-year-old named Willow.”
I recall her aunt had contacted her social worker. I always wondered if they had connected. I even went to DSS and begged Debbie, her case worker, to give me Jade’s info.
Part of me is glad that Emerson and Kiran have had her in their lives, but the other part of me hates her. Was she the one who encouraged Emerson to leave?
The buzzing in my pocket distracts me from my thoughts. “I need to run to my house for a few.” I rub Kiran’s back. “I’ll be back soon, my guy.”
With the force of a thousand winds, I have to pull myself away from them. I was always unexplainably drawn to Emerson. Not just by attraction, but by something so much deeper than that. And I feel it with Kiran too.
In the depths of my soul… I know he’s mine.
Seven
The red BMW in the driveway stirs guilt inside me. I shouldn’t feel this way, but I can’t help it. I didn’t want Leslie to just show up at the cookout, so I told her we could meet at my place. There’s still so much I need to tell her. Our relationship has always been about the release we both need, but that doesn’t mean I want to steamroll her into a situation she has no clue exists.
I walk through the door and am immediately greeted by a pink bikini-clad Leslie.
“Hi, babe,” she says, rushing over to embrace me, and her scent is all wrong. Her lips press against my neck, and I will my cock to react like it normally does.
“Hey, you. How was the drive in?”
“Not too bad since I had this to look forward to,” she says, raking her small hand over my damp swim trunks. I grab her ass cheeks, backing us up into my kitchen island.
“Oh yeah, is that right?” I tease, biting her lower lip and grinding into her as my tongue finds hers. As I trail my hand up her back, the contact with the nylon string has me picturing a gold bathing suit instead. Purple hair traveling down her spine to that ass I still want to fuck. Full breasts barely covered by the shimmering material that makes the gold around her brown eyes stand out. I moan at the daydream playing behind my eyelids.
Fuck, now I’m hard as steel. Fingernails dip into my shorts, and the sound of the Velcro detaching has my eyes flying open. The sight of Leslie dropping to her knees in front of me should drive me crazy with lust and need. But instead, I find myself backing up.I can’t do this.
Pulling at my hair, I let out a long groan, “Fuuckkkk.”
“Nox…what’s wrong?” The concern in her voice makes me feel like shit, but I warned her about this. She may only know parts of me, but she knows the most damaged part. The part that will never truly love another woman.
A knock at the door breaks the tension in the room. Who the fuck is that?
Helping Leslie to her feet, I turn and head to the front door. The knock sounds once more before I swing the door open, and my eyes find an unexpected visitor. One that has my heart beating faster.
