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I pull my hands away, tugging at my hair. Not even her reassuring words can calm me in this moment. “This is too much, Sonny… Who hurt you? Who took you from me?” My heart is breaking in a way it never has before, knowing that this happened to my girl when I always swore she was safe with me.
Taking my hand in hers, she whispers, “This is going to be hard, but just let me tell you everything and then you can ask anything else you want to.”
I nod, interlocking our fingers.
“Do you remember that day you came back from Charlotte and Colton told you that I had taken some nasty hits at the gym?”
Bile rises up my throat as I nod again.
“Well, that was the lie I had told Colton, and it was easier to let him sell it to you. You were always so good at reading me that I was terrified you’d see right through. And I knew you would kill him and ruin every dream you ever had over me.”
A memory of her telling me something very similar when I beat the shit out of Tommy after he hurt her flashes through my mind. “Tommy?” It comes out as a whisper.
When she nods, the tears in the corner of her brown eyes have me wanting to dig him up from the grave and kill him again. “I went over there to bring another load of my stuff to your room. Unfortunately, he caught me off guard, and I slipped on my bad wrist.” She swallows hard, and it feels like I could crawl out of my skin at the thought of her so vulnerable. “He had the upper hand after that.”
I can’t sit still anymore. Jolting to stand, I pace in front of the couch.
“I’m so fucking stupid…and so sorry, Sonny. That last month you weren’t yourself, but I thought you were discouraged about your injury and the possibility of not getting to fight.”
She stands, coming to me. “I was furious that Tommy took that from me, but in all honesty, it was an easy out. I knew you would think that was a big factor in my downward spiral.” Our eyes connect, and we each take a shaky breath.
“I was going to push through it all… Since I was staying with you every night at that point, my plan was to never go back there, and I knew he wouldn’t mess with me once I was officially moved out. He wouldn’t chance being caught by you or Lucian.”
Thinking back to that time, that wasn’t long after Lucian had moved out. That slimy fucker had been waiting on his opportunity all along.
“But then I missed my period. And I remembered…” The sadness in her eyes is back from the memory. “No condom was used.”
Shivers wrack over her body, and I pull her to me. “Shhh, shhh. I’m so sorry, baby. I know nothing I say can take that pain away, but I’d give anything to.”
Forceful sobs take over, wetting my shirt. Listening to what she’s been through is heart wrenching and enraging enough; I don’t know how she’s kept this inside for so long. “I’m just so glad he’s yours…and not that monster’s.”
I hold her tighter, rubbing her back as her arms wrap around my waist.
“Me too…me too. But I would have raised him as mine, no matter what. You have to have known that.”
Leaning back slightly to look up at me, Emerson licks the salty tears off her lips. “I did know that. But I also knew my options were limited. It was either tell you the truth and you go to prison for murder, or lie to you and say he was yours, when at the time, I truly thought he wasn’t…since we had been using protection. And my heart broke at the thought of you finding out he wasn’t yours, which would’ve left you devastated. I felt like my only option was to run or have you and everyone who would follow you spend life in prison.”
Pressing a kiss to my chest, she says, “It was the only way to protect you and Kiran. I saw no alternative, even though it almost killed me in the process.”
My hand finds its way to her hair, running through the strands as I take everything in. “When did you start to think he was mine?” I don’t want to say it, but when I look at Kiran, it's obvious. He is the perfect combination of Emerson and me.
A small smile slips onto her face. “His eyes. My favorite shade of green.” She runs her fingertips over the scar above my eye, taking me back to that night many years ago. My eyes close at her touch.
I should have fucking killed him then.
“I spent his first birthday crying almost all day.” I give her a questioning look to elaborate.
“When he was born, his eyes were blue. And my first thought was of the ice-blue eyes that hovered over mine, forcing me to look at him. But then, sometime around his first birthday, I was rocking him in his room, and I noticed the yellow specks in his irises, and my heart stopped. I shook it off like my mind was playing tricks on me because that’s what I truly wanted. You were never far from my thoughts. Then, a few days later, when I walked in to get him out of his crib, the sunlight was shining in. His little bright smile was happy to see me, and the most beautiful green eyes were glowing as I picked him up.”
Fuck.
“I tossed and turned night after night, thinking about what to do.”
It hits me. “And then Tommy died.”
Emerson nods. “Yes, and it felt like I could finally have everything I wanted.”
To know she’s talking about me has the tension in my muscles easing.
