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“We will start the strict parenting tactics in a few years.”
Emerson smirks at my empty promises and intertwines her fingers in mine, tracing her thumb over the tattoo on my hand.
“I love all the tattoos and new piercings…” Licking her lips, she says, “Some more than others,” causing me to let out a deep laugh.
“But damn, you got a lot in a two-year time frame.”
I don’t want to make her feel bad, but I answer honestly. “At the time, I used it to numb the other emotions I was feeling. It was a pain I could control when I felt like I couldn’t get a grip on the turmoil going on inside me.”
Her eyes fill with remorse, and I don’t go into details about the alcohol I almost drowned myself in that first month after she left. Instead, I decide to tell her a funny story involving her favorite new piece of jewelry I’m sporting.
“But the Prince Albert was actually Ford’s fault.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” She laughs as we approach the chair lift. Once we are safely on, Kiran still in my arms, Emerson asks, “So tell me more…”
“I don’t remember everything. I just know Ford basically bet me one night at the tattoo shop that I wouldn’t do it, and I challenged him because I figured he would back out since you can’t have sex after for several months.”
“Oh, really? I never thought of that.”
I nod. “Yep, but that fucker went through with it… He even one-upped me and got an entire ladder. So, of course, I couldn’t back out at that point.”
She rolls her eyes playfully. “Was it awful?”
“Put it this way, I didn’t want to have gone through it for nothing, which is exactly why I still have it.”
“Well, I guess I have to thank Pretty Boy for the accessory.”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “He would love that way too much.”
We both take a second to admire the beautiful view as we come down the mountain on the lift. “We will have to come back in the fall when the leaves change,” I say as she snaps a shot with her phone.
“I like that idea. Plus, we are either going to have to buy him a goat or make this a monthly trip.” Kiran’s little head perks up at the mention of a goat.
Once we have our stroller, we walk the short distance toward the line to board the train.
“Were you not worried about the piercing messing up your sex life?” Emerson asks minutes after I thought we had moved on from that conversation.
“No.” I shake my head. “I couldn’t bring myself to take that step with anyone else. It felt wrong. To be honest, it never felt right, but I convinced myself I had to move on, or I was going to die alone holding on to the memory of a ghost.”
She looks away, and I stop us before we get in line. “Sonny, I’m not saying this to hurt you. I just want you to know it's always been you. It always will be you. I finally feel whole again.” I pull her into me, searing my lips into hers. “You and Kiran were my missing pieces. I had a lot of cloudy days over the past two years, but things are a whole hell of a lot brighter already,” I say, kissing her one more time. A soft smile lifts her lips as she whispers “I love you” against my mouth.
Our little bubble is broken as the train rolls up toward the station, letting out a loud whistle into the summer air.
Kiran leans up in his seat, amazed by the steam and all the sounds. This locomotive used to run from North Carolina to Tennessee years ago. I haven’t been here in years, but it was a fond memory from my childhood the few times my mom was able to save up and bring Colton and I here.
“Dada, choo choo,” Kiran says, looking up at me and pointing toward the train. I hear Emerson gasp beside me, and that’s when it hits me what he just called me.
“Dada, ride!” I crouch down beside his stroller, placing a kiss to his head. A tear I didn’t even realize I had shed drops into his raven-colored hair. “Yeah, my guy, Dada and Mama are going to take you on the train.”
A simple sentence fills me with so much pride it's hard to even explain. These small moments I’ve dreamed of since being a young boy, fantasizing about a day when I had my own family and all they would ever know from me was steadfast love and loyalty.
The last two years have felt like living in hell at times, but this makes up for every second of it.
Sixteen
“Our flight lands at twelve-thirty on the first, and the moving truck should get there around nine the next morning,” Jade says through my phone.
“I'm so frickin’ excited to have you guys here. I know you’re going to love it.”
