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“Yes, yes, sure. I’ll have my office send over all my contact information,” Cliff says, sounding a little stunned. He isn’t used to people not jumping at the opportunity. Hell, even I did. “And we might be able to work out a deal, even with you in New Orleans. But we can discuss that if it comes down to it.”
Our waiter arrives at our table and, suddenly, I don’t have an appetite anymore. But I have no clue if it's from the thought of her staying orleaving.
* * *
Emerson
You’ll be well taken care of if you decide to move back… I’ll make sure of it.
Cliff’s words repeat over and over as I take a short walk around the block. Fuck me, do I really think moving back to North Carolina is a good idea?It’s not just you who’d be moving…But Jade's already told me that she thinks a move is necessary for them too. A new beginning for all of us.
My mind is a mess. I can't go back to my room yet. I need to get my emotions under control. If I go back now, they’ll be able to see the turmoil written all over my face.
A good walk or a punching bag usually does the trick. It’s always been my means of escaping when life gets to be too much, or when I need to clear my head.
It would be nice not having to work two jobs to afford living expenses. To be able to focus on my fighting career would be a dream come true. I’m no fool. I know a fighter's career isn’t very long, but to be able to give it all I have while I can would be a blessing. Not many people are offered this opportunity.
Ryan would tell me I’m crazy if I declined. But am I ready to take this step? It was always my intention to come back to North Carolina when the timing was right. But I have to remember, I’ll be returning to a city where no one currently wants to speak to me…especiallyhim. If I didn’t leave the way I did, my decision would be so much easier.
But you had to.
To say I’m more confused than when I got here would be an understatement. I came here to fight and to talk to Lennox. So far, I’ve only succeeded at one. But I can’t leave town without doing the other. He needs to hear it from me. He deserves that.
The fact that Lennox can barely stand to look in my direction without complete disdain makes it harder for me to form coherent sentences. I pause for a moment when I approach the hotel lobby doors. Geez, I’ve been so lost in thought, I’m already back.
Pulling out my phone, I check the time. I know he’s up, possibly at the gym…but it’s worth a shot. Lucian has always been a voice of reason.
We’ve been trying to maintain somewhat of a relationship ever since I left. I call every few months to check-in, never divulging too much information, not even my phone number. My goal was to keep our conversations light, and mainly focused on him.
It’s always been easier that way.
His phone goes to voicemail, so I shoot him a text.
Me
Hey, wanted to catch up… I’ll be in Richmond Hills this week. Wanted you to hear it from me first before anyone else. Here’s my number, give me a call.
Texting him from an unblocked number is my first step in the process of repairing my burned bridges. I know damn well it will take a while for everyone to trust me again, but I’m determined. I wince in regret when I think about how I haven’t reached out to Colton or Isla yet. They were my family in every sense.
It’s crazy to think about how life goes on, even in your absence. I can’t say I completely regret leaving because it brought my Aunt Jade and her daughter Willow into my life, and at that time, I needed her desperately. And I am happy to see that everyone from Richmond was able to move forward and better themselves.
I'm ready to go back. I’ve made my decision.
North Carolina will always be my home, and I hope the transition is a smooth one. They’ll bombard me with questions and demand answers, ones I am finally ready to give. I just need to talk to Nox before I see any of them.
I shake off the remaining anxious feelings as I walk down the hotel hallway to my room. No sooner as I swipe the keycard am I being wrapped up in a loving embrace. My hands winding around and tightening our hold as I breathe them in. The comfort of their embrace allows me to release a long sigh of relief, for I know everything will be okay…eventually.
Four
Icould really use my motorcycle and the windy roads of Richmond Hills right about now. Instead, I step out onto the streets of downtown Charlotte, in desperate need of some fresh air and the ability to clear my head.
I’m all over the place after lunch and my encounter with Emerson. I know there is only one person who can truly put my mind at ease and it's none of the people currently blowing up my phone.
Word traveled fast about Emerson being here, but I can’t bring myself to answer anyone’s calls. The ten-digit piece of paper she left on the table feels like it's burning a hole in my pocket. Deep down, I know I need my questions answered in order to gain any semblance of closure, but the other part of me—the much weaker part of me—is scared to close that door and hear what she has to say about leaving me.
I was enough to make her want me, but not enough to make her want to stay.Hell, she didn’t even have to stay… I would have gone with her. I would have done anything she asked, as long as it meant being with her.
Two blocks into my walk, a horn blares at me as I move past the crosswalk. I flip him off. “Not today, motherfucker, not today.” It’s a prime example of why, even though the city is always fun to visit, I don’t think I could ever live in one.
