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Duncan stiffened but nodded. If we weren’t surrounded by the pack, I wasn’t sure if he would’ve been so calm about it.
“Come on—I’ll walk you home?”
Kicks was asking, not dragging me along or bullying me, the way I usually felt.
I nodded. I didn’t think even he could fight off Death, but walking home alone felt daunting at the moment. I was starting to see the value of a placebo effect.
Kicks didn’t question me or say much until we were back at the cottage. He followed me in, and I didn’t try to stop him. Rightnow, in the tangled mess of my current situation, he was one of the only allies I had, and one that had some pretty damning evidence on me.
“I’ve made it clear I want you to come to my pack. Have you given that any thought?” he asked as he followed me into the kitchen.
He took the log I’d just picked up and started loading the wood stove for me. It was such a simple thing, but even that felt like a burden lifted.
“No. I haven’t. Sorry.” I’d been too busy with the other crazy things going on. I leaned on the counter, watching him. Even doing something as simple as this, he looked incredibly sexy. Was there anything he could do that would make him look unattractive?
He finished, straightening and brushing his hands on his legs before leaning against the table. “It’s not safe here anymore. Or it won’t be. The most dangerous thing you can do is refuse to accept the reality of your situation. You can’t make sound decisions based on a set of delusions.”
“I am not deluding myself. I’m painfully aware that Groza is going to try to kill me the first chance she has.” She already had, after all.
“Then why are you hesitating? You think Duncan is going to save you? His pack will come before you every single time. He won’t save you if it causes even the smallest detriment to his pack.”
“And would that be so different from yours?”
“Yes. It would be,” he said. “I rule my pack, and if I say you’re untouchable, God help the person who crosses me.”
I huffed softly. “Until I don’t serve a purpose for you anymore either.”
“That’s not who I am. If I give my loyalty, it’s absolute. I’d think that was obvious by now.” His eyes hardened, as if that was the one thing I could’ve said to cut him.
I couldn’t help but remember what happened with Magnum. Kicks had been ready to wage war with another pack to keep him safe. I was getting so used to expecting betrayal, I anticipated it even when it wasn’t happening.
“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.” At least, not yet. For all his grand talk of loyalty, I didn’t have the liberty of trusting him, not when Charlie’s life depended on my decisions as well. Could I really trustanyshifter? Their pack would always come before some human. Given enough time, Kicks would prove it too.
He nodded, but his gaze was still fierce, as if he could read my thoughts, knew that no matter what he said, he was still untrustworthy in my eyes.
“You know you can’t stay here,” he said, going back and hammering home the point.
“I’d think after what you saw, you’d have a little faith in my ability to protect myself.” It was slightly surprising he’d still want me at all.
“Everyone sleeps. Even the strongest of us needs someone to watch their back.”
The thought had been a nagging worry. Every night when I went to sleep, there was a part of me that worried Charlie would wake to find me dead in my bed.
“Come, check it out for a little while. What would be the harm in that?”
It was as if he couldsensethe capitulation. Maybe he actually could.
“How long?” I asked, feeling my nerves fraying even as I opened up that door.
“I can give you some time, but not a lot,” he said, shrugging as if it were no big deal. “Think about it. I’ve got to go out of thearea for a day or so. No one here knows I’ll be gone, and I want to keep it that way. I think it might be better if you’re with my pack when I do. If you did come with me, you wouldn’t be far away, at least for a while. You could come and go back and forth to visit as much as you wanted. Charlie would still be able to see his friends.”
He’d thought of Charlie? I couldn’t seem to stand on solid ground with this man. Every time I thought I had him pegged, he’d do something that gave me whiplash.
“Think on it,” he said, and went to leave.
He was leaving, and suddenly it felt like the rug was getting pulled out from under me. When had I started to rely on this man for any kind of stability?“When do you go?”
He turned back and then narrowed his eyes “In the next few days.”
